it's jokes

I go in the duck park, I make it myself there cozy with Rayman and fruit dwarves.

It was 5:00 PM and I asked my sibling: "Can I have something to eat?"

He replied: "No, not until you tell me the alphabet."

So I said: "A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, U, V, W, X, Y, Z."

Then my sibling asked me: "Where's the T?"

I replied: "It's in the microwave, you just need to dish it up."

I tried to make a necrophilia joke, but it was dead in the water.

How do you fit 4 gay guys on 1 barstool?

Turn it upside down and shove a leg up each of their asses.

Roses are red, violets are blue,

FBI wants my penis, can I hide it in you?

I've the biggest cock. Suck it.

How many cops does it take to push a black man down a flight of stairs?

None, he fell.

Need a sock puppet for a joke.

"Hey Soccy?" "What?" "Where do you come from?" "The laundry bin... I don’t wanna talk about it!" 🤣

What's the difference between parking a car and finding a girlfriend?

All the good ones are taken, so you stick it in the disabled one and hope nobody finds out.

Why is ten afraid?

Because it’s in the middle of 9/11.

How many prostitutes does it take to change a light bulb?

None, they just put the light bulb up their pussy and ask you to pay.

I'm ashamed of some of the jokes I told that mocked disabled people.

So I threw in a couple racist ones to even it out.

James Bond walks into a saloon where Michael J. Fox is tending bar. He says, "I’ll have a martini, shaken, not stirred."

Michael turns to him and says, "How else would I serve it?"

If Michael J. Fox was in the middle of an earthquake, would he know it?

Q: How many aborted babies does it take to paint a house?

A: Depends on how hard you throw them.

I was watching the news and heard a segment about a blind hooker who got stabbed 40 times.

At least she didn't see it coming.

Yo momma so ugly, your grandma wanted to name her Abomination, but the registries agent changed it.

What starts with T, ends with T, and has T in it?

A teapot.

Why is Europe like a frying pan?

Because it has Greece at the bottom.

How do you keep a blind person entertained? Give them a piece of sandpaper and tell them it’s a word.