it's jokes
The teacher called Little Johnny to her desk. She said: “This essay you’ve written about your pet dog is exactly the same essay your brother has written.”
“Of course it is,” said Johnny. “It’s the same dog.”
Little Johnny came running into the house and asked, “Mommy, can little girls have babies?”
“No,” said his mom, “Of course not.”
Little Johnny then ran back outside and his mom heard him yell to his friends, “It’s okay! We can play that game!”
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Little Johnny was overheard by his mother reciting his homework, “Two plus two, the son of a b*tch is four; four plus four, the son of a b*tch is eight; eight plus eight, the son of a b*tch...;” “Johnny!” shouted his mother. “Stop swearing!” “But mom!” Little Johnny protested, “That’s what the teacher taught us! And she said we should recite it till we learned it!”
The next day his mother went to the teacher to complain. “No, no,” said the teacher, terrified. “That’s not what I taught them. They’re supposed to say: ‘Two plus two, the sum of which is four.’”
Finding one of her students making faces at others on the playground, Ms. Smith stopped to gently reprimand the child. Smiling sweetly, the Sunday school teacher said, “Johnny, when I was a little girl, I was told if I made ugly faces, it would freeze and I would stay like that.”
Little Johnny looked up and replied, “Well, Ms Smith, you can’t say you weren’t warned!”
Yo mama so fat, when she farts, it's counted as a new gas element.
Did you hear about the cello player who dreamed he was performing Bolero?
He woke up and found out it was true.
Is it possible for an orphan to go on an away trip?
No, because they already are on one.
Why does Michael Jackson like Doge Miner? He thinks it's about minors dressed in doge costumes.
One day, Little Susie got her monthly bleeding for the first time in her life.
Not quite certain what was happening, and somewhat frightened, she decided to tell Little Johnny. Little Susie dropped her panties and showed Little Johnny what was happening.
Little Johnny's eyes opened wide in amazement. "You know," he said, "I'm not a doctor, but it looks like someone just ripped your balls off!"
I want to tell you a joke about 9/11... but I'm afraid it will be the bomb.
Why did the deer cross the road? Its friend deered it to!
Yo hairline go back so far you could drive 1,000,000 miles and still not find it.
Why do orphans hate Dom Toretto?
Because it's all about family!
Why is the Leaning Tower of Pisa leaning? Because it had better reflexes than the Twin Towers.
Why did the deer cross the road? Its friends deered it to.
What is the difference between a gay man and a fridge? A fridge doesn't moan when you put meat in it.
Why is it hard to break up with a Japanese girl?
Because you have to drop the bomb twice for her to get it.
I made a website for orphans; it does not have home pages, though.
How do you make it hard for a rapist who is trying to rape you? Rub it.