IT jokes
Why is the Tower of Pisa leaning?
It has better reflexes than the Twin Towers.
Sometimes I get jealous when my phone dies. (This does not apply to me. It's a joke.)
Girl, you are so ugly that when you look in the mirror, it shatters, more than your relationship.
Yo mama so fat, when she went on the elevator, it went down.
What do you call it when a guy named Fred enters Panera Bread?
Panera Fred.
Your forehead is so big that it said, "To be continued."
What did the poo say when it fell out of your bum?
"Your anus looks like my mum's bedsheet which is smelly and covered in poo."
I also just wanted to add that a Goonie's anus looks like my nan's mouth.
Waiter: "Here you go, one medium-rare steak."
Me: "I like it well done."
Waiter: "Thanks, that means a lot!"
How do you see the difference between a cow and a bull? It’s either one or the udder.
Your forehead is so big you can land a jumbo jet on it.
How do you cut your grass without a lawnmower?
You dye it blue and it will cut itself.
How do you cut your grass without a lawn mower?
You dye it blue and it will cut itself.
What’s the difference between a WNBA player and a rotten apple? The apple has a chance to make it into the basket.
Your hairline's so far back even Bill Nye the Science Guy couldn't use photosynthesis to fix it.
Why is there no toilet paper at KFC?
Because it's finger lickin' good!
I don't understand why people hate it when they hear a dad joke. They are actually pretty funny, and I will show you Y. (shows a picture of the letter Y)
If an orphan takes a family photo, it’s called a selfie.
How to make white ice cream red... blend a baby into it!
How are genders and the Twin Towers alike?
There was 2, now it's a sensitive subject.
I burnt down an orphanage and then showed an orphan the orphanage that I burned down, and he loved it. Not really, though.