IT jokes
How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb?
One, she just holds the bulb to the socket and waits for the world to revolve around her.
What did the pilots say before crashing into the Twin Towers?
"We can't go over it, we can't go under it, we go through it!"
What did the kid who has no arms get for Christmas?
He couldn't even open it.
Why is 10 so sad? Because it was in the middle of 9/11.
One day a father went out for some cold beer and threw the 18 pack in the back seat on top of the infant in the car seat. Fortunately, it was light beer.
Why didn't the cows eat the lemon grass?
It made sour milk.
Morbid jokes are just like girlfriends. Not everyone gets it.
I heard a joke about heavy metal earlier. It was pretty ironic.
I figured I would steel it and put it on this site. I mean, it was either that, or lose it forever.
Why did the electron leave the atom?
Because it had its ion someone else.
What kind of dogs do miners like best?
Golden retrievers, haha, get it?
How do you stop a skunk from smelling?
Hold its nose.
Worst joke ever.
I just got a job at the prison library.
It has its prose and cons.
When it's April Fool's Day, go to an orphan and say, "Their parents should come back!"
I made a website for orphans. It doesn’t have a home page.
What’s the difference between a Lamborghini and a dead body? I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.
What is the difference between Iron Man and Iron Woman? One is a superhero and the other is a simple command.
How do you get a baby to stop crawling in circles?
You nail its other hand to the floor.
My friend put an action toy and called it Kobe and put it on a drone. I realized that my friend didn't know how to fly a drone.
What is Green and Red and goes round and round?
A frog in a blender.
(this next one is pretty bad, and I don't mean it, so don't get offended)
What's the difference between a Mexican and a park bench?
One can support an average family.
My mother caught me jerking off and she told me to leave it out. I didn't know what she was doing but she grabbed my cock and started sucking. Then I found out on porn she was doing deep throat.
A couple of weeks later my dad caught me jerking off, I thought he would deep throat, but he just walked up to me and slapped my boner. I cried for 5 hours. Luckily my mum gave me a sloppy joe afterwards.
I was at a train station and a woman ran up to me and asked, "Is this train running on time?" I said, "No, it runs on steam and coal."
Me: *posts random joke about a duck*
That one guy in the comment section for no reason: "Shut the f*uck up you dumb b*tch you are a piece of sh*t you..."
That other guy in the comment section: "That’s actually offensive to ducks."
Bro it’s a joke...