IT jokes
Today when I looked in the mirror, I stopped and simply said: "It's ok, what's inside matters the most, right?"
What did the tower say to its twin? "Hey, is that a plane?"
Your hairline goes so far back your mom can't even reach it.
Fun Fact: Did you know JFK's brain was so big it covered a whole entire limousine?
"Honey, let's not go so deep into the woods, please. I'm starting to get scared."
"It's easy for you to talk. I can go back alone right now!"
You know it's so hard to clean my sex toys.
Thank you, Jesus, for creating holy water!
Husband: “Honey, what’s the difference between a Ferrari and an erection?”
Wife: “ok... what is it?”
Husband: “I don’t have a Ferrari right now.”
What do a gay man and an ambulance have in common?
They both take it in the back and go “whoot whoot.”
The worst comedians take 9 months to make a joke. Then they spend the rest of their lives trying to forget it.
What does a cannibal do after eating its vegetables?
Sells the wheelchair.
Two guys in a car get pulled over by a cop. The cop taps the window, and the window rolls down. "Good evening, gentlemen, we're looking for two pedophiles."
The guy quickly closes the window. Ten seconds later, he lowers it again and says, "Ok, we'll do it."
What makes 9/11 an inside job?
Someone started calling it 10/7.
Why did the math book kill itself?
It had too many problems.
When you find out your wife had a miscarriage,
So you start singing "It’s the best day ever!"
Your mum is so slow, it took her nine months to make a joke.
Why is it so hard to break up with a Japanese girl?
You have to drop the bomb twice before she gets it.
I had a JFK joke, but it went right through my head.
People say that Pakistan is a terrorist nation...
Guys, it's not true, even Osama bin Laden lived there peacefully for 6 years.
COVID-19 is like pasta.
Asians invented it, Italians spread it.
I’m going to open my own Mexican restaurant and call it boarder patrol.