IT jokes
Scientists say I'm made up of 75% of water.
But after jumping in the ocean, it's 100%, just like my depression.
Yo mama so fat that when Thanos tried to snap her out of the world, he couldn't do it, so instead, he clapped her out of the world.
A wild Iceberg appears! Titanic uses ram! It is not very effective. (Titanic sinks.)
Today my toilet paper ran across the road, but it got stuck in the crack.
What is Green and Red and goes round and round?
A frog in a blender.
(this next one is pretty bad, and I don't mean it, so don't get offended)
What's the difference between a Mexican and a park bench?
One can support an average family.
8 bit: Are you ok?
7 bit: Yes, I’m just a bit off...
Get it? 8 bits = a byte :)
Want my opinion on Mongolia? It has its pros and Khans.
Why can't the toilet paper be cheeky?
It's between cheeks at the moment.
Sadly, blind jokes are cruel. A kid at my school was punched the other day for being blind.
Sadly, he didn't see it coming.
A drunk walks into a bar and sees a beautiful woman at the other end of the bar and says, "Bartender, I want to buy that douchebag a drink."
The bartender says, "You can't talk like that! This is a respectable establishment, I'm going to throw you out!"
The drunk says, "Okay, I'm sorry. I'd like to buy the lady a drink."
The bartender goes to where the woman is sitting and says, "The, ah, gentleman at the end of the bar would like to buy you a drink, what will it be?"
She says, "Vinegar and water."
Mary had a lamb. Her fleece was black as coal. When I tried to touch it that night, next day I went to court.
What is the healthiest fruit?
An orange 🍊—It takes Vitamin See!
Why shouldn’t you pick on a midget with learning difficulties?
... Because it’s not big and it’s not clever.
When you throw paper at a hill, you can say, "Hey, look, it is like Kobe's helicopter!"
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
I don't know, it depends on how hard you throw them.
How do you get a depressed girl to suck your dick?
Pour bleach on it.
Hi, this is Stephanie. Is it a fun night for you too? I love you!
From your Dad.
I won’t be back for a while, it’s a very long line.
Why did the dog 🐶 wake up tired?
It had a ruff night. 😂
Have you heard about the new cereal?
It's called "Prostituties."
They don't snap, crackle, or pop, but they sure do bang!