IT jokes
What is the smartest month?
April - No one can fool it.
Imagine if on April first the government says, "Hahhaha, you all fell for it. Covid-19 is fake; we actually killed all those people, lol."
Why did the toilet paper not make it across the street?
'Cause it got stuck in a pothole!
KFC doesn’t use toilet paper because it is finger lickin' good!
I was camping with my buddy, and there was a fire. We were roasting marshmallows, and there was a vine. I tripped on it and went penis first into the fire, and I said, "Well, there goes your children, stupid ass!"
There was a man in a tower, and the other man thought it was a girl, so he said, "Let down your long hair." He said, "OK, I will let my big, super long, hairy penis down for you to climb and suck." Then the other man said, "If you have such a long dick, suck it yourself. See ya, b*tch."
Once, there was a man that was coming to my house and peeing in my yard. Then the man came back to my house and flopped his penis everywhere and peed at the same time, and it went all over my face.
So the next day, he came back, and I got my BB gun and shot a metal BB into his peepee.
This didn't actually happen.
Why can’t you give an orphan homework?
Because they don’t have a home to do it in.
What's the difference between the Titanic and Georgie from "It"?
Georgie floated!
Why were the 1800s so crazy?
Because of Hairriet Tubman.
I only made so it's the 69th in the hair category.
Why did the dog cause the fight?
Because it was a bulldog.
I wish my lawn was emo. Then it would cut itself.
I wish my grass was edgy...
then it would cut itself...
A: This rice is very delicious!
B: Ya! It is more delicious if it is cooked.
A: It’s very delicious! Great! Fantastic!
B: Thank you.
A: People don’t speak when they eat delicious foods!
Teacher: Great! You’re studying in break time!
Student: Thank you. I heard that it is good to study before sleep.
🎨🧑🏻🦰 day was that good fun day at home 🏠. I had to the earth and I love it when you get a home and walk walk home from school and walk home and walk walk home from school and walk walk home 🏠. Was your birthday 🎁? I did.
So I meet with a therapist on a weekly basis. We talk about my depression and how it's been getting worse. Recently, I've been advised about my condition, and how I've been discussing with her about being suicidal. She's been very helpful throughout it. I was even told I can pay in advance from now on, so I don't have to worry about it later.
Is depression sadness or happiness? I call it a fun time.
How come the toilet paper could not make it across the road?
Because of the Corona Virus.