Isnt jokes

When I was little, I used to think that the people in cartoons were real people...until I turned 7. I realized that it was just people doing voices. Sad, isn't it?

What gun isn’t allowed in Africa?

A water gun.

A bicurious man goes to a gay bar.

A gay man offers him a drink.

The bi man explains he doesn't know if he's gay or not.

"That's fine," he says, "let's just have a drink."

The gay man asks him for a dance, and he explains again he isn't sure if he's gay or not.

Eventually, the gay man invites him to go home with him to hang out as friends.

They get to his house, and the gay man says, "Do you fancy having sex?"

He isn't sure, so the gay man explains, "I'll push in slow, and at any point you want to stop, make animal sounds, and if you like it, start singing."

So they get to it, and the gay man pushes in slowly, the bi man bursts out "MOOOOO MOOOOO MOOOOOOVVVEE CCLOSSEEERRRR"

Why do nuns walk in groups?

So one “nun” can keep an eye on the other “nun” just to make sure that she isn’t getting "nun".

Kid: "Mom, I had a scary dream. Can I come sleep with you and dad?"

Mom: "Sure, sweetie, sleep in the middle."

Kid: "Dad, can you get the remote out of my back?"

Dad: "That isn't the remote."

*Weird background music*

This isn't a joke, but in some countries, children eat their shit for better digestion when constipated.

"Cancer isn't real. It's probably special effects."

What do you call a dog with no legs?

It doesn't matter what you call him, he isn't coming.

What do you call a dog with no legs?

It doesn't matter, he isn't coming to you.

These people who are offended by rape jokes don’t even understand humor. They think of humor as like a happy thing because humor makes us laugh and laughter makes us happy, but most of the jokes that we laugh at are filled with pain and suffering. If I take a joke like, how many police officers does it take to change a light bulb? None, they just beat the room for being black. Now that joke isn’t making light of the fact that people have marched in the civil rights movement and people have been racially discriminated against. It’s not making light of those, what it’s doing is it’s taking that pain and suffering and making you transcend it for a moment, and showing the absurdity of the human mind, and that is important. Humor at its best takes the bad things in this world that are painful and hard to deal with and makes it something funny.

And before you go in the comments and say I agree with rape, I don’t. I hope everybody who rapes someone to have their dick cut off. My little sister got fucking raped when she was six, and the guy is lucky he got caught by the police and not me, cause if I caught I would have fucking killed him, so I don’t agree with rape, but I still think rape jokes should still not be taken so seriously!

What's the difference between a Catholic priest and a pedophile? There isn't a difference.

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho cheese. Okay, I can't do this anymore.

Some sperm arrive in the uterus and see that the egg is already fertilized. They complain that they lost the race and have nothing to do but die.

One speaks up and says he isn't angry, and the others ask why.

"He thought he was going to be alive," the sperm says. "This chick works at an abortion clinic."

"This isn't the first time my husband's cheated on me, but you're my sister! You'd better have a better explanation than this magic lamp."

"You know how you have to be specific making wishes? Well, I was really horny and asked the genie to have the world's biggest penis....ended up with a concert pianist that's seven foot tall. Nice guy. Next time I tried, I asked for the world's biggest cock, that was fun but the poor rooster died. So I asked for the world's biggest dick and that's how I ended up on top of your husband."

My wife left a note on the fridge that said, “This isn’t working.”

I’m not sure what she’s talking about. I opened the fridge door, and it’s working fine!

Dad: Come on, David, go dress up like a girl.

David: Isn't that illegal?

Dad: Nah, it isn't illegal if you keep the buttons in.

David: I hate my life.

I know this isn't about glue, but here's one:

Cardi B had a sister who was obsessed with fitness. Her name? Cardi O.

Why isn't Hilary Duff interested in education?

A. She said that she was not interested in learning about anything that was so yesterday.

Michael J. Fox isn't allowed around small children. When he touches them, he is immediately accused of shaken baby syndrome.

This isn't a joke, but I'm a survivor and use humor to cope. I find these extremely funny, so please leave the people writing these alone 😭