New Investigation Jokes - Page 3

Police seek clues to explain Walmart.

What do you call an alligator detective??

An investi-gator.

I think my neighbor is stalking me as she's been googling my name on her computer.

I saw it through my telescope last night.

What's fun to search for in investigation?

The Milky Way!

What did the owl that's a detective say?

"Hoo did it?"

I keep looking for my girlfriend's killer, but no one wants to do it.

Serial murderer Ed Gein was famed for raping, killing, and skinning his victims.

When he was asked why he did it, he responded, "You don't know someone until you walk around in their skin."

What does the Cow say to the spy?

"Are you udder cover?"

Did you hear about the crime in the parking garage? It was wrong on so many levels.

Today I Vance a blind guy a gun and told him it was a hair dryer. Since I have no fingerprints, the police said it was suicide. I guess you can say I took care of him!

So my dad walks into a bar and there was a hooker and a child. I was with him and they both approached us and they said only £50 for head but it was a little weird that the child was talking to my dad and the hooker was talking to me. I was about to say something but my dad pushed me over and my friend's uncle killed my dad.

The kid was never seen again. Her name was Madeleine McCann. I think I'm the only one who knows where she is, but overall the head from the hooker was good.

A turtle was walking down the street when suddenly a snail came and robbed him. When the police came, they asked what happened. The turtle responded, "I don't know, it all happened so fast!"

What happened to the police that crossed the road?

They solved a murder involving the nut case.

Someone stole my grass today. I went to the police, and they said: "What's wrong?" I said, "How could you tell something was wrong?" They replied, "You were looking forlorn."