My grandpa's last words were, "Why is there a body in my kitchen?"
No witnesses.
I love murder shows... wish me luck cause I'm kinda hoping to be on one one day.
After getting in the White House, D. Trump gets a letter...
...from the Iranian president. He opens it and to his surprise there is a paper with a weird looking code on it:
370HSSV 0773H
All confused, Trump contacts the FBI and forwards the letter to them in hope they can figure out the meaning, but they weren't able to. Trump gets angry and sends the letter to both the CIA and NSA, and they also fail to figure out the meaning of the letter.
One of the agents suggests Trump ask for MI6's help, so he does and few minutes after a British agent sends a fax to his secretary:
"Tell your president he was holding the letter upside down."
When a person went to a restaurant, they died once they were in. Three people were a suspect. Two were suspected because she served the food. Turns out, it was the food!
There was a fire at my high school when I was in Year 7.
When the local newspaper interviewed my teacher, they asked her how she was seeing the "bright side" of it.
She said, "Well, at least our new students got a warm welcome!"
54 students died that day.
There was a car accident, and the cops pull up to the crime scene to start asking people questions. The police started talking to a blonde lady and said, "What happened here?" She responded by saying, "A car crash." They then asked, "But how did it happen?" She responded, "The cars crashed into each other." They finally said, "But why did it happen?" The lady said, "Oh, I know where you're going with this. It happened because when cars push on the gas pedal, the car goes forward, and they both pushed it, so they both went forward and hit each other." One cop said, "Never mind, ma'am," and they started walking away.
The blonde lady then said, "Oh, and officers, my computer froze. Do you think I should put it in the microwave or in the oven?"
It was 2017, and lots of people were hating RiceGum because he released "Frick Da Police," a diss track insulting Idubbbz's Content Cop video on RiceGum.
A few hours after the diss track was released, someone went to Rice's house and spray painted "Asian Jake Paul" on the wall of the front of his house.
Rice went to "meet" Idubbbz, then he saw the graffiti.
"WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEREEEEEEEEEEEEEE?"
Hours later, police found 4 suspects.
"Explain."
Sus 1: I don't vandalize.
Sus 2: I was staying indoors because it was rainy.
Sus 3: I fucking hate RiceGum, but I would not ruin his cheap ass house lol.
Sus 4: I eat bricks.
Police: I know who.
RiceGum: Who?
Police: ITS-
807907070707007607865909685780970695067586708650968095768076895708769875660980765970659062870907965607867856067586908
Notice anything in the number crowd?
Comment the answer below and I will see who is correct.
"He scratched his face up, detective. That did it."
"Did I do that?"
Me: Now I know why Michael Jackson turned white.
The police: You finally figured it out.
I wasn't staring at you; I was trying to figure out if that's your forehead or the moon.
One day there was a guy who robbed a bank. A customer at the bank while it happened got the police. Who was that? The police said......
It’s a wood hulem.
What’s pink, rusty, and covered in cobwebs?
Madeline McCann's bike.
I don't understand the plane crash at 9/11. My dad was a great pilot!
I comforted my friend about his wife's death, until I found out who did it.
murder murder suicide by police
Three citizens were going through an exam to become agents of the FBI. Their instructor handed the first guy a gun in a room with his wife and said he had to shoot her. He walked out in shame and said he couldn't do it. The second guy had the same scenario. He put the gun up, but couldn't pull the trigger, so he walked out in shame. The third guy was put in the same scenario. He walked out and told the instructor, "The gun wasn't loaded, I had to strangle the bitch."
Do you know the murderer, The murderer, the murderer, Do you know the murderer, Who lives on Dreary Lane?
Yes, I know the murderer, The murderer, the murderer, Yes, I know the murderer, Who lives on Dreary Lane.
There is a man in the hospital. The power went out, and the man was stabbed to death. There are three witnesses: the nurse who was with another patient, the doctor who was reading some paperwork, and The Who who was at the vending machine. Who killed the man?
The mom did, because you can’t use a vending machine when the power's out!
Chuck Norris hasn’t decided yet when Jimmy Hoffa can come out.
What did the ferret say after his family was questioned by police?
It's none of your business!
