Invention jokes

You should always wash your sex toys. That’s why priests invented baptism.

Velcro, what a rip-off!

Flex tape can fix a sawed-in-half boat. Then how the f*** can it not fix the Titanic when it broke in half? Tell me!

An orphan went up to Nikola Tesla and asked to travel in time. He then saw his parents put him in a building, saying, "You now live here!"

"You must be why they invented the word ugly."

The invention of the shovel was groundbreaking.

Whoever invented religions, they fucked up.

We got all kinds of retarded adults believing in mythologies.

OMG guys, I finally did it. I made a head slicey boy. I have headless.

A child asks his father, "How do you get pink eye?"

Son, I was told it’s from scratching your butt, then rubbing your eyes.

Then the son asks, "How did I get Fungi?" As the father was about to answer, the boy says, "Ohh, so is it from scratching my stinky feet, then rubbing my eye?" ———-Fungeye

Who discovered shrimp were edible?

Probably the same one who invented the blowjob.

BLESSEDBRIAN is the reason they invented the mute button.

SLADE is the reason they invented the PAUSE BUTTON.

The man who invented Velcro died.

RIP.

If Thomas Running invented running, what did Paul Walker invent?

You just might be why the middle finger was invented in the first place.

When Bob got on that sled, I don't know how he went so smoothly, but that is the invention of bobsled peoples.

And then Mark came in.

Why were condoms invented? So gay guys can have sword fights.

Hey, pass me that crowbar, please.

Sure... y’know, before the crowbar was invented, crows had to drink at home.

If the USA is so good,

Why did they make a USB?

*Shotguns in a nutshell*

2B: MUST.

4B: ADD.

6B: MORE.

12B: *B A R R E L S*

*And that's how multi-barrel shotguns were made.*