This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
omg guys i finaly did it i made a head slicey boy. i haveheadless.
A child ask his father “ how do you get pink eye?” Son I was told it’s from scratching your butt, then rubbing your eyes. Then the son asks “How did I get Fungi?” As the father was about to answer. The boy says “Ohh, so is it from scratching my stinky feet, then rubbing my eye?” ———-Fungeye
Who discovered shrimp were edible? Proble the same one who invented the blowjob. *-*
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
When Bob got on that sled, I don't know how he went so smoothly but that is the invention of Bobsled peoples. And then Mark came in.
If Thomas Running invented running, what did Paul Walker invent?
You just might be why the middle finger was invented in the first place.
The man who invented Velcro died Rip
SLADE is the reason they invented the PAUSE BUTTON
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Hey, pass me that crow bar please.
Sure... y’know, before the crowbar was invented, crows had to drink at home
(credit to Ryan Lombard (I think that’s his name) from YouTube shorts, I loved this dad joke/pun)
Bonjour all ;-) , nd here a frog ( French) joke lol. qui a inventé le mètre et qui a inventé le centimètre? (who invented the meter, and who invented the centimeter ?) Answer: Adam à inventé le mêtre , parce qu'il voulait le (mettre) de dans ...(Adam invented the meter because he wanted to put it in). Eve à inventée le centimetre, parce qu'elle voulait, le sentir- metre ( centimetre) Eve invented the centimeter, because she wanted to fill it when going in...
I invented a time traveling machine and travelled back to Pangea. I warned the dinosaurs about the deadly asteroid, they told me, "it wasn't an asteroid...it was Pionel Pessi's penalty ball ricocheted from Mars that made them extinct". Tears ran down my face. Shame on you Pessi!
Do you know who invented Paper?
Cai Lun!
“RIP” Cai Lun..
Did you here about the person who invented the door knocker?
He won a no-bell prize.
what was stephen hawkings least favorite invention? the walky talky
So I went to a church the other day and I asked my friend is that painting of Jesus and is it through the wall with one with three nails Oh wait I wasn’t even Jesus he’s not doing the T post that he invented
When Pope Pius (IX.) died, he went to Heaven, knocked at the door, St. Peter opened: "Who are you, what do you want?” "I am Pope Pius. I want to come to heaven.” “Where do you come from?" "Rome." "What do you mean? Rome Massachusetts or Rome New York?" "No, Rome Italy of course." "I'm very sorry, but I do not know you!"
To make sure to not erroneously deny access to an authorised person, Saint Peter takes the telephone, calls up God and asks: "Hello Boss, here is a guy who says he is the Pope of Rome, do you know him?" "What do you mean: Rome Massachusetts or Rome New York?" "No, Rome Italy of course." "No, sorry, I don’t know him."
Saint Peter makes another telephone call and rings up Jesus: "Hello Junior - here’s a guy who says he is the Pope of Rome, do you know him?" "Rome Massachusetts or Rome New York?" "Rome Italy." "No sorry, never heard of."
Saint Peter still does not give up and finally calls up the the Holy Ghost and asks: "Hello Smoky, here is a guy who says he is the Pope of Rome. Do you know him?" "What does he mean, Rome Massachusetts or Rome New York?" "He says Rome Italy." "No sorry, I’m afraid I do not know this guy." But then, after a very short while he continues: "Wait, wait - tell me, is that the guy who invented the damn story about Mary and me?"
Once there were three Indians. Two were smart and one was... not so smart. One day, the first smart Indian went out hunting. He came back with a dead deer. The not so smart Indian asks "How'd you do it?" The smart one replies, "I followed the deer tracks, shot the deer, and brought it home." The next day, the next smart Indian goes out. He comes back with a dead bear. The not so smart Indian asks once again "How'd you do it?" The smart one replies, "I followed the bear tracks, shot the bear, and brought it home." Finally, it's now the not so smart Indian's turn to go hunt. Multiple hours had passed since he left. The smart Indians go out to search for him. They finally find him, bloodied and on the verge of dying. The smart Indians exclaimed "WHAT HAPPENED!" The not so smart Indian replies, "Well I... I followed the train tracks, an... and shot th- the train... bu- but it kept going..."
