Invention jokes
Did you know about the guy who invented knock knock jokes?
He won the no-Bell prize.
You meet the guy who invented 0, what do you tell him? Thanks for nothing!
A burglar breaks into a weapons engineer's house, hoping to loot the high-tech arsenal. Suddenly, the engineer yells from upstairs, "Hey! Stop right there!"
The burglar, trying to play tough, screams, "Hands up! I know you've got the goods! Open the armory or I'll shoot!"
The engineer, trembling, cries, "Okay, okay! Don't shoot! I'll give you everything, even my latest prototype!"
The burglar, eyes gleaming with greed, demands, "Prove it! Let me see this fancy new gun first!"
The engineer points to a target range. "It's a plasma blaster," he claims. "Go ahead, give it a shot."
The burglar aims at the bullseye, pulls the trigger, and—BANG!—the gun fires directly into his own chest.
As the thief collapses, the engineer cackles, "Surprise! It's not plasma; it's my new 'Reverse-Recoil Special,' specifically designed for uninvited guests!"
Why did God invent yeast infections? So women would know what it's like to live with an irritating cunt too.
The inventor of the umbrella was just going to call it "brella," but he hesitated.
I'm inventing a new glue and calling it "Six Seven"... it's a chemical brainrott.
You should always wash your sex toys. That’s why priests invented baptism.
The shovel is a ground breaking invention.
*Slaps and laughs*
Why would you make jokes about birth control?
It's a great labour-saving invention.
I just thought of the best invention ever: a vape dildo.
Did you hear about the person who invented the door knocker?
He won a no-bell prize.
Flex tape can fix a sawed-in-half boat. Then how the f*** can it not fix the Titanic when it broke in half? Tell me!
Who invented fractions?
Henry the 1/8.
I have some sad news. The Australian inventor of the boomerang grenade died today. RIP 😔
I invented a time-traveling machine and traveled back to Pangea. I warned the dinosaurs about the deadly asteroid. They told me, "It wasn't an asteroid... it was Pionel Pessi's penalty ball ricocheted from Mars that made them extinct." Tears ran down my face. Shame on you, Pessi!
Once there were three Indians. Two were smart and one was... not so smart.
One day, the first smart Indian went out hunting. He came back with a dead deer. The not so smart Indian asks "How'd you do it?"
The smart one replies, "I followed the deer tracks, shot the deer, and brought it home."
The next day, the next smart Indian goes out. He comes back with a dead bear. The not so smart Indian asks once again "How'd you do it?"
The smart one replies, "I followed the bear tracks, shot the bear, and brought it home."
Finally, it's now the not so smart Indian's turn to go hunt. Multiple hours had passed since he left. The smart Indians go out to search for him. They finally find him, bloodied and on the verge of dying. The smart Indians exclaimed "WHAT HAPPENED!"
The not so smart Indian replies,
"Well I... I followed the train tracks, an... and shot th- the train... bu- but it kept going..."
Whoever invented religions, they fucked up.
We got all kinds of retarded adults believing in mythologies.
The invention of the shovel was groundbreaking.
Sparkling water was invented by Germans. Who else would add gas?
Why is the wheel the best invention?
Because it's wheely wheely great!