I think I need to kiss your butt.
I bet your hairline goes inside your private part, and your girlfriend can’t even touch it.
Your mom is a spy <3, just like in bed.
How does an Alabama mother know when her daughter is on her period? She can taste the blood on her son’s penis.
Once there was this kid that wanted to shower with his dad, so his dad said yes. Then he asked, "What is that?" and his dad said it's a chow chow train.
The next day, he wanted to shower with his mom, so she said yes. He asked again, "What is that?" and she said it was a tunnel with light.
The same day, he wanted to sleep with them, and they said yes.
In the middle of the night, he woke up and told his mom to turn on the light because the chow chow train is going in.
How do lesbians have sex? It’s too complicated. I’d have to show you.
Do you mix concrete for a living? Because you’re making me hard.
Do you like Imagine Dragons?
Imagine draggin' my balls on your face.
Guy: shows girlfriend his dick.
Girlfriend: "Cool, where is it?"
Want to do a titcock dance with me?
I want a relationship.
*Masturbates*
I don't want a relationship.
Four gay guys are sitting in a Jacuzzi when all of a sudden, a condom starts floating. One of the gay guys turns around and asks, "Okay, who farted?"
I revealed my dick to my girlfriend.
As she saw it, she said, "Nevermind, just finger me."
Why is Johnson’s baby shampoo the best lubricant for anal sex?
- No more tears.
What do both a hooker and a customer have in common? They come onto each other.
What's funny about sex? I don't get it!
What’s the best thing about a blowjob?
The silence.
Just give him a smooch it’s better than the cooch - Dream
Haven't had sex since I got out of jail; although sex in jail wasn't that great, either.
I spent 10 hours applying makeup so I could look pretty when I was going to have sex with my partner.
I needn't have bothered.
The next day, it was smeared all over my face.
