Intimacy jokes

While fucking a hot auntie, pressing tightly her boobs and fondling, He: What do you feed your babies? She: Milk and orange juice. He: Wow, which side is orange juice? 😋

Kaden wants to have sex with you.

Roses are red.

Grass is green.

I think of you sucking my peen.

Once, there was a couple about to have sex. "I have something to confess," said the shy wife. The husband then said, "Whatever it is, I will still love." The wife then said, "Honey, I'm flat chested." The husband said, "It's okay, I'm a baby down there anyways." He then pulled down his pants and began to have sex.

The next day, the wife said, "I thought you were a baby down there." The husband then said, "I am; 22 inches and 7 pounds."

I just had sex.

"Lemme clap your girl's booty cheeks, daddy papi."

Friend: Do you know him?

Other Friend: Know who?

Friend: My dick!

My crush said that she would rather die than have sex with me... It turns out that she was lying.

When it is quiet when you're having sex and you ask your partner to "Do the roar!"

If sex is a pain in the ass, then you're doing it wrong.

Thing to say during sex, "grab his dick and twist it!"

What is similar between sex and fishing?

It doesn't matter how deep you go, it matters how you wiggle the worm.

What is the similar thing between alcohol and anal sex?

They are not for kids.

You blow a kiss up.

Your eyes were bright up your ass.

Husband: "I bet you can't say something that will make me both happy and sad at the same time."

Wife: "You have the biggest penis out of all your friends."

What did the first guy say to the second? Wanna shove a banana up yo ass?

If sex with three people is called a "threesome" and sex with two people is called a "twosome," then I know why people call you handsome!

I was having sex with my girl, and she said she likes it rough, so I socked her in the face.

What's the worst thing about eating a shaved pussy?

Putting the diaper back on.

Three people having sex is a threesome; two people is a twosome. So next time someone calls you "handsome," don't take it as a compliment.