Intimacy jokes
Do you like Imagine Dragons?
Imagine draggin' my balls on your face.
Guy: shows girlfriend his dick.
Girlfriend: "Cool, where is it?"
Little Sally found out that she had hair on her private area and went up to her mom and asked, "Mom, I have hair on my privates, what is it?"
"Oh, honey, that's your monkey," the mom says.
So little Sally runs up to her big sister and says, "My monkey has hair on it!" The sister replies with a laugh, "You think that's cool? My monkey is already eating bananas!"
Want to do a titcock dance with me?
I want a relationship.
*Masturbates*
I don't want a relationship.
Four gay guys are sitting in a Jacuzzi when all of a sudden, a condom starts floating. One of the gay guys turns around and asks, "Okay, who farted?"
I revealed my dick to my girlfriend.
As she saw it, she said, "Nevermind, just finger me."
Why is Johnson’s baby shampoo the best lubricant for anal sex?
- No more tears.
What do both a hooker and a customer have in common? They come onto each other.
What's funny about sex? I don't get it!
What’s the best thing about a blowjob?
The silence.
Her: Eat my ass!
Me: Yes, chef!
Just give him a smooch it’s better than the cooch - Dream
Haven't had sex since I got out of jail; although sex in jail wasn't that great, either.
I spent 10 hours applying makeup so I could look pretty when I was going to have sex with my partner.
I needn't have bothered.
The next day, it was smeared all over my face.
The only food I want to review is my wife's rear end.
Like if you wanna have sex.
Roses are red, you have a nice lip, it would look better if it was on my tit.
I was lip to lip yesterday, and now I can't get the cum out of my mouth.
"Why can’t you be comfortable with my own body?"
"I think you should ask yourself that."