Intimacy jokes

I want a relationship.

*Masturbates*

I don't want a relationship.

Four gay guys are sitting in a Jacuzzi when all of a sudden, a condom starts floating. One of the gay guys turns around and asks, "Okay, who farted?"

I revealed my dick to my girlfriend.

As she saw it, she said, "Nevermind, just finger me."

Why is Johnson’s baby shampoo the best lubricant for anal sex?

- No more tears.

What do both a hooker and a customer have in common? They come onto each other.

What's funny about sex? I don't get it!

What’s the best thing about a blowjob?

The silence.

Her: Eat my ass!

Me: Yes, chef!

Just give him a smooch it’s better than the cooch - Dream

Haven't had sex since I got out of jail; although sex in jail wasn't that great, either.

I spent 10 hours applying makeup so I could look pretty when I was going to have sex with my partner.

I needn't have bothered.

The next day, it was smeared all over my face.

The only food I want to review is my wife's rear end.

Like if you wanna have sex.

Roses are red, you have a nice lip, it would look better if it was on my tit.

I was lip to lip yesterday, and now I can't get the cum out of my mouth.

"Why can’t you be comfortable with my own body?"

"I think you should ask yourself that."

Leave a like if you like sex and porn, and talk to me if you have any questions.

I want to cream, rn.

Roses are red, Foxes are orange, I like your butt, Let me touch it forever.

"Mmmmmmmm, daddy, f*ck me harder. I love you, daddy, mmmm. I luv your cock, mmmm, lick me, lick my clit, daddy!"