There’s no I in sex but there’s a U in cum
What is similar between sex and fishing?
It doesn't matter how deep you go, it matters how you wiggle the worm.
Husband: "I bet you can't say something that will make me both happy and sad at the same time."
Wife: "You have the biggest penis out of all your friends."
I was having sex with my girl and she said she likes it rough so i socked her in the face.
TFW you're having sex with your german girlfriend and she won't stop telling you here age
A sex addict man meets a rich man around Christmas.
The sex addict asks the rich man, "What are you getting your wife this Christmas?" The rich man replies, "Diamond earrings and a Mercedes." The sex addict asks, "Why are you getting her two gifts?" The rich man says, "Well, if she doesn't like the earrings then she can drive to the store and exchange them."
The sex addict nods. Then the rich man asks him, "So what are you getting your wife this year?" The sex addict thinks about it for a second and replies, "A gold necklace and a dildo."
The rich man asks, "Why those two things?" The sex addict astutely reponds, "This way, if she doesn't like the jewelry she can go f... herself."
A job is like virginity. Not everyone loses it.
What's the difference between having sex with my girlfriend and a baby
I don't have a girlfriend
Paddy's beautiful wife has not had an orgasm for the 15 years they have been married.
The doctor suggests that she may be overheating during sex, and a cool breeze may help.
Being a bit of a cheapo, he decides not to buy a fan but asks his friend Mick to waft a towel over them during the act.
After half an hour, still no sign of success, so his mate suggests swapping places. "I'll have a try, Paddy, you waft the towel."
Paddy agrees, and after two or three minutes, Paddy's wife has a moment of sexual pleasure, screaming in ecstasy for the first time in 15 years.
Paddy taps his mate Mick on the shoulder and says, "And that, Mick, is how you waft a bloody towel!"
What turns a girl on more than having sex with her
When she finds out that you have a vibrator too
Fishing is like sex when it is great it is great when it is not so great it is still great!
A woman comes to the doctor and tells her ‘doctor, my husband wants intense sex all day, what should I give him?’ The doctor says ‘my number’
aaron and ben meet on grinder [they have a drink and have sex they wake up in the morning in bed aaron says im so glad i got it out ben relys what oh just the HIV
My Sex Life
My girlfriend said she wanted to be pampered. I told her I wasn't into diaper fetishes.
My German girlfriend likes to rate our sex between 1-10.
Last night we tried anal, she kept shouting 9!
That's the best I've done so far.
Weather is like sex. Once in a while you need to get wet.
What do you call two Mexicans having sex? 50-shades of brown.
What do you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?
Stop and apply lubrication.
Is sex a joke? Because I don't get it.
