Intelligence jokes
Putin's Brain:
Why are fish smart?
They live in a school.
Your mom is so stupid that she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl.
Your momma is so dumb that when they said it was chilly outside, she came outside with a bowl.
You have more chin than brain cells!
A blonde and a redhead have a ranch. They have just lost their bull.
The women need to buy another, but only have $500. The redhead tells the blonde, "I will go to the market and see if I can find one for under that amount. If I can, I will send you a telegram."
She goes to the market and finds one for $499. Having only one dollar left, she goes to the telegraph office and finds out that it costs one dollar per word. She is stumped on how to tell the blonde to bring the truck and trailer. Finally, she tells the telegraph operator to send the word "comfortable."
Skeptical, the operator asks, "How will she know to come with the trailer from just that word?" The redhead replies, "She's a blonde so she reads slow: 'Come for ta bull.'"
You're so bald, I can see what's on your mind.
Your mama is so fat and stupid. She got hit by a school bus. Her reply was, "Who threw that Twinkie at me?"
How did a blonde commit suicide?
She jumped from the basement window.
How do you tell if a blond is really stupid?
Put a scratch and sniff on a bleach pod.
What is dumb, yo mama, you dumb stupid idiot?
I asked my zombie boyfriend, "Does he have a brain?" Because he's stupid asf.
Your hairline is pushed back; we can see what you are thinking of.
Me: I'm retarded.
Teacher: Why?
Me: It took me 2 hours to see "60 Minutes."
Wanna hear the car joke?
Nah, it's too fast for you.
Hey, can you tell that a blonde likes you? She only gives you two nights in a row.
How do blondes play real-life Jenga?
By stacking humans.
Why did the blonde put lipstick on her forehead?
To make up her mind.
What's the difference between a blonde and the Panama Canal? One's a busy ditch.
What do you call a stupid pig? A pious.