Intelligence jokes
What do you call a man with no head? Airhead.
You say to your slow friend: "Damn, you're slower than Stephen Hawking!" And that takes some talent.
Why was Stephen Hawking never trusted when taking a quiz?
"No computers allowed on the test!"
I saw that my brother has brain cancer, so I asked him: "Are you big brain?"
Yo mama so dumb, she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept!
The Blonde got a Ph.D.?
Yeah, like that would ever happen.
How do you know someone is fucking dumb?
They put jokes that have been used several times already.
Your mama is so stupid, she took a spoon to the Super Bowl!
Yo' mama is so stupid, she put a quarter in a parking meter and waited for her gumball.
Your mama's so stupid, she put lipstick on her forehead to make up her mind.
Guess what, everybody? I'm dumb in math. I'm dumb and stupid at math.
How do you put "blonde" and "duh" in the same sentence? Just say, "Blondes are dumb."
My sister thinks she's so smart and funny. The only thing that is funny is her face.
I would like to call you as dumb as a rock, but they can hold a door open.
You know why I have so low IQ? It's because the left side of my brain gets nothing right, and the right side of my brain has nothing left.
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
Because she is a dumb b*tch!
I was at school one day, and my teacher gave me homework. Once I got home, I did not do my homework, but I watched TV. After the movie, I finally went to go do my homework. I was almost done with my homework when I got to the last question. I didn't know the answer, so I asked the closest living being to me, which was my dog, and I asked him: what's two minus two? He said nothing.
I might slide up to your block with intelligence. I'm a genius with a glock. There's some relevance. Took his chain, took his rocks. Took his sediments. There's no cap inside my speech. No impediments.
Putting numbers on the board, I use my calculator. Put a opp below the floor, he's a denominator. E = mc2, you didn't notice that? Had the shot, but he's too scared. Why didn't he buss it back?
Why did people bully Steven Hawking?
Because he couldn't stand up for himself.
One day Little Johnny’s class is having an English lesson. The teacher asks them, “Who can use the word intelligent in a sentence?” Little Mary says, “The teacher is very intelligent.” The teacher asks them, “Who can use the word fashionable in a sentence?” Little Suzie says, “They are very fashionable.” The teacher says, “Johnny, why don’t you have a go? Use the word dictate in a sentence.” Johnny thinks for a moment and then says, "Last night I heard Daddy asking Mommy, ‘Darling, how does my dick taste?’”