Insult

Insult jokes

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Girl

  • Girl: You are gay.

    Boy: Who says I’m gay?

    Girl: You ARE GAY!

    Boy: You are lesbian.

    Crowd: OhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhbhbhhhbhH

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  • Egg

  • What is the difference between an egg and you? An egg gets laid, and you don't.

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    Parrot

  • One day, inexplicably, my talking parrot started insulting me. He called me an idiot, a fool, a jerk, stupid, and a variety of other nasty names. I warned the squawker to cease, but to no avian avail. Fed up, I finally flipped the foul-mouthed feather-brain into the freezer...but after about 15 seconds, I relented and let him out.

    "I'm so sorry," he declared! "I don't know what came over me, and realize I shouldn't have said those terrible things. I hope you can forgive me, and I promise never to do it again! By the way...what did the chicken do?" 🐔😂

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    Idiot

  • I came home from school one day and told my cat a kid at school said I was an idiot and told me to go kick rocks, so I did, except I kicked him, not the rocks, and I called him the idiot for not moving out of the way.

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  • Chip

  • Bully: You're so short you hand-glide on a chip.

    Short person: Well, at least I don’t look like a giraffe that just came out of an oven!

    Kid

  • So, two kids argued and insulted each other.

    KID 1: "Your dad left because he didn't want you, so why don't you kill yourself?"

    KID 2: "Well, your dad already killed himself because he didn't want you."

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    Memory

  • If you tell a girl they're pretty, they won't believe you. If you tell them they're ugly, they'll never forget it.

    Elephants never forget.

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    Dwarf

  • When is it acceptable to hit a dwarf?

    When he dances with your wife and says her hair smells nice...

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    Deer

  • Boy: Crap, I hit a deer.

    Girl: Awe... I guess it’s not so much of a dear.

    Boy: ...

    Boy: Get the hell out!