Insult jokes

I'd say you were the spawn of Satan, but that would be an insult to Satan.

I'm not saying you're annoying. But if rectal herpes were a person, it would be you.

“If you're a dwarf and you're offended by that, grow up.”

Siri is so ugly that she needs to go in the dumpster. She's so ugly that she needs to go in the toilet.

Hey, guy, you suck! Why do I suck? Because you're the one that's sucking juice out of a straw.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Yo mama!

What's the difference between your mom and a laundromat washer?

The washer doesn't take loads for free.

I said I’m losing my mind. My friend said, “You didn’t have much to begin with.”

Hey, do you know who Dragon248 is? No, who is he? He's dragging these balls off your face.

I’d pound your mom so fast, even Sonic would get jealous!

You can’t say “dwarf” anymore; you have to say “little people”.

You can’t say “fat”; you have to say “plus size”.

You can’t say “retard”; you have to say “democrat”.

Roses are red, violets are blue.

My heart is dead because of you.

Actually, not because of you... because of your face.

Your mom was absolutely getting drilled by me on the living room floor last night.

Your mom is the biggest tosser on the planet, yeah, you heard right.

I don't have to strain myself a blood vessel and be wankin' solo anymore; she saved me a whole load of arthritis.

Your mom has quite the mouth on her.

As I found out last night. Oh, what a night!! 😏 😉 😜

Comic: God, you're a fuckin' virgin, aren't you?!

Gerald: No! I've been 'round the block loads of times; women practically drool over me.

Comic: Yeah, and the Archbishop of Banterbury, mate. A name like Gerald, and with added 'four eyes' like them shit pair of glasses from FOUR EYED SPECCY INSTITUTION, mate, the only woman your dick has been in was when you were inside your mom's womb.

I said, "Are you half left or half right?"

"Neither! In-between."

"What?! In between your mom's tits when you go to sleep with her at night?"

Political correctness has gone too far! You have to say "cognitive decline" rather than "Alzheimer's ridden shitbag"!

My girlfriend called me pedophile today.

Big word for a 12-year-old.

Yo, you have the biggest Oliver brain, which means you are the dumbest boy ever.