INS jokes
Why can't an orphan get 5 stars in GTA? Because they are not wanted.
Stephen Hawking didn't die, he got sucked up by the black hole then got sent to the large charger in the sky.
Yo mama so stupid, she starved in a grocery store!
You're so skinny, if you take a bath you look like you're in an ocean. 🛀🏊♂️
When a hedgehog finds poop, they put it in their mouths. They mix it with saliva until it's a foam, then rub it on themselves.
How do you punish a blind guy?
You leave a plunger in the toilet.
What does a lesbian and a sea turtle have in common?
They both choke on plastic.
A 10 year old girl reported to her friends that her 16 year old male babysitter was touching her inappropriately. He quickly lost his job as a babysitter.
A 10 year old boy reported to his friends that his 16 year old female babysitter was touching him inappropriately. She quickly became the most popular babysitter in town amongst boys.
A man hits a woman with his car. Whose fault was it?
The man, why was he driving in the kitchen?
How do you circumsize a hillbilly?
Kick his mother in the jaw
Mom, where are we going?
To your grandma's funeral.
Yeah, 'cause I 360 no-scoped that b*tch in the face.
Zion is so fat that his dick can't even fit in his wife's pussy.
What do you call a dwarf that fell into a cement mixer?
A wee hard man.
Can we have sex, because if we don't, I can't like you, big, thick booty!
So let's have sex in bed, you sexy woman, or behind a tree, because shoving my dick in your pussy is a very nice feeling while sucking your ass.
I saw two deaf people talking shit about me in sign language.
So I turned off the lights.
A boy sat in his bed, watching a meteor shower. He was a vengeful child and wished that his parents would no longer bother him whilst he was gaming.
The next morning, he woke up to find his mother had passed away in the night. Clearly his wish had worked. However, his father worked a midnight job, and as such the boy was very confused when he returned home from work, expecting him to have met the same fate.
The two of them then looked out the window in thought, only to find the milkman lying dead on the pavement.
Are you a playground? Because I want to put my kids in you.
Why was the rapper cold in the recording studio?
Because his bars were ice.
One person said you are much more beautiful than Cinderella. The next day, you're in court and Cinderella is the witness.
(P.S. she was born to be a drama queen.)
My mom told me to go to bed, but then I grabbed a drink and went in their room to say goodnight, and they looked like Adam and Eve on steroids!