INS jokes

People with wheelchairs listen to "Rolling in the Deep" by Adele.

What do you call a baby in the shower? A baby in the shower.

What is a cow's favorite class in school?

Moosic.

If it is someone's birthday, say this for a joke:

"A long time ago in a far away galaxy...

YOU WERE BORN!"

Friend 1: How can the skeleton tell it was going to rain?

Me: He could feel it in his bones.

Friend 1: No, he read the forecast, you fucking idiot!

Heheh ;3

What is the difference between a human and a human being in a wheelchair?

Free blacks in the Civil War is the same as me drawing a reverse card in Uno.

I went shopping, and then to the hospital, and then to bed, and then I promised to only say "and" once in a sentence.

What's the difference between 13 dead babies and a skeleton?

There aren't any, there's 13 skeletons in my closet.

Back in ancient Greece, there was a Greek Skyrim, but instead of FUS ROH DAH, the main character said, "Me damnit, Ganymede, get the #10 lightning bolt, I hate it when Helios lets his kids drive!"

If you don't get this, look up the story of Phaethon, and if you STILL don't get it, then you are dumb.

Once I had a cat. The cat liked human beverages.

One day I decided to throw a party. The cat went over to get some soda. There was a line. I told him that he needed to wait in line. The line was too long for the cat. Then he walked to the punch bowl. He saw that there was no punch line. Very much like this joke.

You're so skinny you're a thin stick.

You're so fat that when you got in Pacific Ocean, you became the Pacific Ocean.

You're so ugly you got stuff for free.

You're so nasty that when you eat spaghetti, you thought it was throw up.

You're so fat you're the fattest person on Earth.

You are so gay you kissed the boy last night.

When your friend gets involved with someone, it affects the friendship. Whenever a friend of mine has a new girlfriend, we should say I looked like the person you used to know, but I've been modified to survive in this relationship. If we have an argument and she's there, I might disagree with you; I'd rather continue to see her naked.

What do 9/11 and Covid-19 both have in common?

Asians caused them both!

A ball hit me in the vagina.

At night in the Nunnery, one Nun says to the other Nun, "Where's the candle?" The other Nun says, "Doesn't it!"

I talk about the girls in my math class simping over anime characters and making random ships as well as for Miraculous Ladybug children's show, whatever the show is called, but it's a kids show. 💀 Now they’re searching up pictures of Tom Holland laughing in their absolute weirdness.

I like Tom Holland, but these kids man, they like him like they’re in a relationship. They might as well start kissing and licking the screen. They’re probably writing fanfictions in their free time when they aren’t searching up kids show characters, anime characters, and Tom Holland pics on their SCHOOL CHROMEBOOK. Their only device choice was a school-provided laptop which is monitored by the school while they are writing fan fictions on Google Docs and searching up some weird Tom Holland stuff. Imagine how Tom Holland would feel if he found out that there are 11 year old girls searching up some weird stuff about him.

Q: What do a prostitute and a vacuum have in common?

A: If they stop sucking, you can smack them until they start again.

Q. What do you say when your friend has an abortion?

A. May your baby rest in pieces.

If Will Smith could be in any movie, he would be in "Find My Hairline."