INS jokes
In my science class we were watching a video, and for no reason at all, it started talking about Black Lives Matter, and my friend leaned over and whispered, “White lives matter more!”
What do trannies and jokes about them have in common?
Neither of them get old.
I got caught doing donuts in the parking lot, and I know what y'all are thinking.
Who names their dog Donuts?
What’s the difference between a pile of babies and a Lamborghini?
I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.
How do you get the emo girl out of the tree?
You cut the rope.
A teacher asks a boy in her class, "If 3 birds are sitting on a fence, and one is shot, how many are left?" The boy responds with, "None." The teacher asks why. "They would all fly away after hearing the gunshot." The teacher says, "The answer is 2, but I like the way you think."
Later, the boy asks the teacher, "3 women walk out of an ice cream shop. One is eating with a spoon, one is licking it, and one is sucking it. Which one is married?" The teacher says, "The one sucking it." The boy says, "No, the one wearing the ring, but I like the way you think."
John Kreese's forehead broke when silver hit 'em in the forehead.
Confucius say, "Man who sit in church and fart must sit in pew."
There was this kid who was going to take a girl to the dance. He had fancy clothes, fancy shoes, etc. Finally, the day of the dance came. He happily drove over to the girl's house. When he got there, he said to her father, "thank you for this moment, have a great night".
At the dance, the girl asks the boy, "can I have some food?" He gladly replies "yes" and walks over to the food trucks, only to see a huge line. So he waits in line for like 30 minutes. He comes back to the girl, and she says, "thank you so much, I really needed something to eat". Then she asks for some sweets and a soda. Again the boy waits in line for about 30-45 minutes. Then he comes back, and she says, "thank you SOOOO much". Then she says she has one more request. The boy, (now clearly agitated) says, "what is it?" She says, can I have some punch? SO the boy walks over to the punch table, but to his surprise, there was no punch line.
Q: How many ADHD kids does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Wanna go ride a bike?
What is the epitome of being quick on the draw?
Coming both first and last in the same round of "soggy biscuit".
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite line in Rambo?
"Don't push me."
What is meals on wheels to a Christian nationalist that is also a conservative Republican politician, a gay man in a wheelchair that is poor and also physically handicapped, and who is also well-endowed?
Ejaculated in her braces, call that children behind bars.
Yo mama so fat,
Donald Trump himself tried to use her as his border wall in 2016.
Did you know the "w" in Africa stands for water?
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Lettuce.
Lettuce who?
Lettuce in!
If laziness was an Olympic sport, I'd come in fourth so I wouldn't have to walk up to the podium.
Kid walks in the door. "Mommy and Daddy, I'm home." Mommy and Daddy meanwhile in their room moaning. Kid runs to them thinking they're hurt and sees something he definitely shouldn't have.
10 minutes later, [he] kills himself.
What's long and hard and has c*m in the middle? Cucumber. What were you thinking?