INS jokes
What's the difference between the 44 out of the 45 people who died in the Yaroslavl crash and the nine people who died in the helicopter crash?
Only one was ever famous. Vasicek and Kobe Bryant were the champions.
When you hit a speed bump in a school zone and then you remember there are no speed bumps.
A guy in a wheelchair said, "I stand for Boris." But I think he meant he sat for Boris.
Me: Spell "I cup."
My Friend: I see you pee.
Me: BOII YOU BETTER GIVE MEH SOME PRIVACY IN MY BATH ROOM!!!!
My Friend: Oh hehe O-O
Ever heard of candies? Candies balls fit in your mouth.
Ed is Ed in bed, full of head.
Roses are red, I am very cool, You, on the other hand, Need to drown yourself in a pool.
What do you call it when you light a person in a wheelchair on fire?
Cooking the vegetables.
What do you call a person with a hole in their head? Dead.
A science teacher got on the Space Shuttle Challenger after winning a contest out of 11,000 other teachers.
Imagine being one of the losing teachers in that contest, watching the Space Shuttle Challenger, and thinking, "Talking about dodging a bullet!"
Women have so much evil in their blood that God has to drain it once a month. Hehehehehe
What do your underwear and the Starship Enterprise have in common?
They are both concerned about “Klingons near your anus”.
How many gangsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
35! Do you have a problem with that?
What do a pregnant 14-year-old and the fetus inside of her have in common?
They both are thinking, "Shit! Mom is gonna kill me!"
Why couldn't the toilet paper cross the road?
'Cause he got stuck in the crack! *butt crack*
How do you put a baby in a blender feet first so you can see its facial expressions?
How do you get the baby out? With a tortilla chip!
What's a benefit of being an orphan? The chips always come in a family size :)
What do orphans call a family photo? A selfie.
Stephen Hawking was in a house fire. When he got out, people called him "Hot Wheels."
I can't wait to have 2020 in my hindsight.
There was a new kid in my school. The first thing the teacher said was, "Me, you, the basement NOW!"