INS jokes
I would like to thank my favorite President Barack Obama. Sorry, Barack Obama and my uncle Obama bin Laden. I mean Osama bin Laden. Sorry, hummus in my throat.
Who's in my ass?
Your sister.
I got caught peeing in the pool.
The lifeguard blew his whistle so hard I nearly fell in!
One day, I sit in the lounge on a chair.
Two friends were walking in a forest. They started to fight.
A cannibal came and shouted, "Food fight!"
This category is messed up.
My Mom died in 9/11, at least she was doing what she loved, flying planes.
I went to the doctor because I had a steering wheel in my pants, and it was driving me nuts.
Chuck Norris gets paid $2 million a month training Bear Grylls how to survive in the “harshest conditions on earth.”
They say there is power in numbers.
Tell that to the people in the Twin Towers.
How do you punish Helen Keller?
You leave the plunger in the toilet.
What weighs 70 pounds and doesn't like sex?
The 6-year-old in the trunk of my car.
Q: Why did Stevie Wonder drown?
A: Because there wasn't a lifeguard in sight.
Why do nuns go around in pairs?
So one nun makes sure the other nun doesn't get none!
"My name must taste good; it's always in your mouth."
What do you call a person on fire in a wheelchair?
Hot wheels!
What is the similarity between women and freezers?
We like to put our meat in them.
How do you circumcise a hillbilly?
Kick his sister in the jaw.
Why can orphans convert to Catholicism? Because Catholics believe in no sex before marriage.
Why is "T" well-respected, but more in its lowercase form?
It crossed the line with Jesus.
What can you tell [as] a difference between [a] man and a woman [in a] relationship?
Both of them are just full of shit.