INS jokes

"My name must taste good; it's always in your mouth."

What do you call a Muslim in America being pursued by a perv?

Alien vs. Predator.

There is one difference between autistic kids and vegetarians.

They're both vegetables in serotonin ways.

Why did the cops come over?

Because parents had kids in their basement.

I’m sorry deez nuts can’t fit in your mouth.

What do the Twin Towers and murder victims have in common?

Both were owned by their own kind.

My mum found a chest that was wet, and it had a child in it. She asked me what it was for. I said I put kids in it and chuck it in a river until they are dead.

Why did Alice from Wonderland get her butt stuck in the rabbit hole at first? Because she probably ate too many hamburgers and drank too much wine just out of nowhere, then told her butt to hold it in before more food pops out.

Why couldn't the toilet paper cross the road? Cause it got stuck in the crack.

*If you don't get it, it got stuck in the butt crack.*

What do sperm say while just in?

"We need to go deeper."

A sailor drops anchor in a port and heads into the nearest pub. Everyone in the pub is whispering and pointing at him because of his odd shaped body; he has a very muscular body, but a very tiny head on his shoulders.

As he orders his drink, he tells the bartender, "I'll explain. I get this in every port and town I visit. I caught a mermaid and she granted me three wishes if I would release her back into the sea. So I told her I wanted a yacht and, sure enough, she came through for me. Next, I asked for a million bucks and now I am set for life. Last of all, I asked her if I could have sex with her and her response was, 'I don't know how you can make love to me with your type of body.' So I asked her, 'How about a little head?'"

Hello, Brudas, my name Badabeeyeabolamazoqanba. I, forty-eight-year man from Somalia. Sorry for bad England. I sold my wife for internet connect, and I am level thirteen in Roblacks. If you want to get batter in Roblacks, contact me at Gmail@borakoobama. Send me your bank account information and password. Than I well give you all the cotton you desire. Sorry for bad spelling. I kindergarden dropout.

This morning, I was having a conversation with my ex-boyfriend about reincarnation. I said to him, "If you could come back in the next life as anything, what would you come back as?" He thought about it for a minute and says, "A tree. That way, everybody can look at me and admire me."

Then he says the same thing to me. I started thinking about it when these two sexy, half-naked studs walked by. One was a jock, the other on his bicycle. I know I said I want to come back as a jockstrap or a bicycle seat, but knowing my luck, I'll come back as a tampon.

Billy moved in with 69 pedophiles when he was 8. Many "tears" came across his cheeks.

In Australia, my jokes are high koala-ty.

What’s red and cries?

A skinned baby in a bag of salt.

There are two kids sitting in a classroom: Lily and John. Lily sleeps in class every day.

The teacher asks Lily who made heaven and earth. John pokes her with a pencil. She shouts, "Jesus Christ Almighty!"

The teacher says, "That's right."

The teacher says the next day she asks the same question. John pokes her with a pencil. She shouts, "Jesus Christ Almighty!"

"That's right," the teacher says.

The next day she asks Lily what did Eve say to Adam after their 100th. John pokes her again. "If you stick that thing in me one more time, I'mma break it in half!" she shouts.

So, this kid told me what high school he was going to and asked me if I thought he would make it in.

I said, "No, they don't have double doors."

What’s the difference between 3 cocks and my sister?

My sister can’t take a joke about cocks in bed.

Here in Canada, you used to be able to be shipped off to an asylum just because you were gay.

I guess they couldn't tell the fruits from the nuts.