INS jokes
A boy walks in on his mother riding his father. "What are you doing?" the boy asks his mother. "I'm jumping on daddy to make him thin," said the mother. "Don't bother," said the boy, "when you go shopping, the lady next door comes and blows him up again."
Little Johnny is watching his dad shave one morning, and his dad was making a lot of mistakes. Suddenly, his dad screams "bitches and asses!" Johnny asks what it meant, and his dad replied "aunts and uncles." Oh. Next thing he hears is "dicks and pussies!" Johnny asks, "What's that mean?" To which his dad replied, "Uh, coats and hats." Oh. Next thing he know, he sees his dad jumping around the bathroom yelling "fucking, fuck, fuck, FUCK!" "What does that mean, Dad?" And his dad yells, "Cut, Johnny, it means cut!!!!" Oh.
Next week is Thanksgiving, and the doorbell rings, and Johnny answers it and says, "Hey, bitches and asses, hang your dicks and pussies here, Dad's in the kitchen fucking the turkey."
You dropped your toilet paper, right? You want to pick it up, but you can't because you have poop in your butt and it scwoshd! 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
It was just a prank, and stop calling our humor "plane." In our opinion, it's fire.
If Dusty's dad from Home Alone 2 was in NASA, how come he is not famous?
How do rappers stay warm in the winter?
They wear their ICE.
If Bruce Willis (the guy in the Christmas movie Die Hard) dies of a Viagra overdose, would that mean he truly dies hard?
What did the creep do when the woman said, “Make yourself at home?”
He hid in her attic.
What did the phone receptionist at the suicide hotline tell the callers?
Hang in there!
The sad thing is when they ride the scooters in Wal-Mart... Really, you declining to walk is what got your fat ass in that scooter to begin with... And damned if they aren't buying diet soda... Please... cull this shit... We don't need them in society... KFC is not a disease.
You're so ugly that every time you look up in the sky, God says, "Sorry, can't help you."
What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair? A RC-XD.
Attention to everyone, I'm not going to be on for 2 weeks because I was in a bike accident, or more like a motorcycle accident. I was ran off the road when my 16 year old brother was taking me for a ride. Now I can't use my legs cause, well, you know. I will be taking a break because I don't want to move my legs that much.
Fortnite is so bad that when you try to play, trash is always in your way. LOL
What did the beach say when the tide came in?
"Long time no sea."
What do Communism, Socialism, Feminism, and Fascism all have in common?
They are all disabilities.
My grandpa was the best soldier ever. He gunned down over 100 soldiers in his bunker during D-Day.
What does a roller coaster and Michael Jackson have in common?
Kids ride for free.
Hello! I'm Taylor, and this is my life story with me and my ex girl. So when I was little, I met this girl. Her name was Leah. We were besties for a while until I turned 13. Then I asked if she wanted to date me. She said yes!
But one day, in the middle of school, she was talking to another man!!!!!!! AND THEY HUGGED AND KISSED EACH OTHER ON THE CHEEK!!!!!! Then, she told me she hated me. I was so upset!!!!!!!! Whatever you do, don't follow the ugly rat!!!!!!!!! <3
Why are 9/11 victims the fastest readers?
Because they can go through 100 stories in 7 seconds.