INS jokes
He was in a fight, then a person said, "Stand up for yourself!"
What’s one thing you can say during a wedding and in bed?
I didn’t know we were having seafood tonight!
I tried making vegetable soup yesterday, but I couldn’t fit the wheelchair in the pot.
Son: “Mom, is there a thing called «friendship» between a man and a woman?”
Mother: “No Son, unless if he’s gay.”
Son: “So your friend is gay?”
Mother with herself: «How did he see me with michael omg if my husband discovered my cheating he will kill me»
Mother: “Mmm.. Yes.”
Father loudly: “YES!!!”
Mother: “What in the hell? Are you gay?”
Father with himself: «Am i an idiot why did i yell?! if she discovered I’m gay and her son was made by Paul’s semens she will kill me»
Father: “No what are saying? I’m just talking with myself.”
*A few hours later*
Mother: “I will go to visit my mother.”
Father: “Me too I will go to visit my mother.”
Son: “Not me too I will go to stud with my friends.”
The mother and the father goes to michael’s house and they found their son playing with Michael and Paul is recording them and saying: «that’s why I love you my actual son oh only if your mother knows».
*The End* :D
Your taste in men is like my taste in humor: dark.
If you're ever in need of a punching bag, just go to your local Alzheimer's unit.
They'll forget you were there in like three minutes.
What do the Twin Towers and gender have in common? There used to be two of them, but now it's a sensitive topic.
My girlfriend wanted a marriage just like a fairy tale. Fair enough. I gave her a loaf of bread and left her in the forest with a rabid wolf.
I don't got a pencil or pen in this bookbag. Added like ten to the clip 'cause it look bad. Don't give a fuck if you pissed, nigga, get mad. Or you can bitch and get killed with your bitch ass. Lil' bro got blood on his shirt with his Crip ass. Go write a diss and get murked, don't do shit ass. Bitch, I'm a star, I might burst with my stiff ass. Hop out the car like, "Who want it? Who with that?" I don't know nothin', I was gone when they did that. Bandana wrapped where my chrome and my wig at. If he want beef, hit his home with a Big Mac. Niggas be breakin' the code like a Kit-Kat. Runnin' your mouth like a ho get you bitch-slapped.
What do you call a terrorist in a bath?
A bath bomb.
Yo mama so dumb, she tried to put m&m's in alphabetical order.
What's the most illegal activity in Africa?
Watering the plants.
What do you call a Mexican in the zombie apocalypse?
Answer: "Sweet and spicy chicken."
Are you a building because I rate you a 9/11?
Why were the Twin Towers mad when they ordered pizza?
One arrived plain, one came in late, one went to the wrong address, and the other one never came.
Today a child asked if I was an angel. I asked why, and he said, "Mommy says that angels have marks on their wrists because they don't want to be in this world."
So, my mom looked in the mirror today, and we need a new one.
I like my women how I like my wine.
14 years aged and locked in a cellar.
Why are you sad? Because you are in Morocco, ha ha.
What does an apple and an orphan have in common?
One gets picked.
Autoerotic asphyxiation because hanging in there can be hard.