INS jokes
Why do orphans have 363 days in a year?
Because they have no Father's or Mother's days.
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.
What do you call a dog with no legs? No point in calling, he won't come anyway :(
Q: What's black and white and red all over?
A: The U.S. in 1919!
An orphan walked up to St. June's Family Hospital.
Doctor: "Sorry kid, you can't be in here."
You know, it was so cold in D.C. the other day, I saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets.
Honestly
Comedy is so woke these days. You can't make fun of any disadvantaged group.
Except people with Alzheimer's. They'll just forget you made the joke in five minutes anyway.
Why do orphans only have 363 days in the year?
Because they don’t have a Mother's nor Father’s Day.
What do Rubik's cubes and melons have in common?
They have a history of separating colors.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Lettuce.
Lettuce who?
Lettuce in!
If I had a dime for everytime the Australian president shat himself in a McDonald's, I would have one dime, which is not a lot, but it's weird that it happened.
Yo mama so ugly when she played Five Nights at Freddy's, they thought that she was already in an animatronic costume.
What do a man and a blonde do in bed?
Sleep!
When Sally was little, she came home from school and said to her mother, "Mom, I can't believe it! Little John collects Pimmel at school."
Mom: "No?"
"Like in heaven?" said the mother.
"No, juice," Sally said.
When you're asked to tell a crazy story, but the first thing that comes up to your mind is a suicide attempt:
"Oh, I don't remember anything in particular. 😅😀"
What do women and appliances have in common?
If they don't work, hit them until they work.
Why did the golfer bring two pairs of socks? In case he got a hole in one!
The next woman who says she'd rather be alone in the woods with a bear, I'm throwing her in a pit with a bear and making her fight it with a wooden sword while drinking and singing "The Bear and the Maiden Fair."
Why are modern women trash?
Because back in the day a woman knew her place.
R.I.P. on a tombstone normally means "Rest In Peace"; however, in Madeleine McCann's case, it means "Raped In Portugal".
Why did a cop in the 1960s cross the road?
To arrest a faggot for cross dressing.