INS jokes

One day I visited my friend in a hospital.

I remember when I spoke, "You know, sometimes it's reaching its peak and its lowest state, but I know you'll always end like the others at calming and straight!"

Yes, I talked about the heart monitor beside him.

An African man was walking in New York when he saw a sign that said, "Watch out for children."

He started laughing hysterically, then a white man asked him, "Why are you laughing?"

He said, "In Africa, they would never put up a sign like that."

How many Emo kids does it take to change a lightbulb?

None, they sit in the dark crying.

None, they sit in the dark cutting their wrists.

My friend asked me why I haven’t had milk in six years.

I told him my dad never came back with it.

Huh, I’m pregnant again. Must be something in the air.

Yeah, your legs.

A cartoonist was found dead in his home.

The details are SKETCHY! :)

Your momma's so fat, when she pulls her knickers down, her ass is still in 'em!

Yo momma's so fat, she rolled out the bed, out the room, down the stairs, smashed through the window, rolled down the road, and got stuck in the Grand Canyon.

What does the F in "orphan" stand for?

"Family," but there is no F.

If you were a fruit, you would be a fineapple.

If you were a vegetable, I would visit you in the hospital.

How many emissions does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, they just sit in the dark and cry.

A girl did squats everyday with a 20 pound weight in her hand to finally text her boyfriend, "Show me your dick now!"

I saw one kid in a game. He went, "I love you, tree!" He was dumb as cant tell, sorry.

What's the difference between when I opened the window in a car wash and when Kawhi Leonard did it? At least my dad didn't get shot in the eye.

What do you call a failure in another language?

Me.

You can't YEE your last HAW!

But I put my BALLS in ur JAW.

What do nerds and chicks have in common? They both have four eyes.

Person: What's your perfect date look like?

Me: Oh, just hanging around in a tree.

I like...

Wendy's.

"Wendeez nuts in your mouth."

Stand in the corner.