INS jokes
Ever tried looking in a mirror lately? I wouldn't, your crooked hairline might break it.
Okay, what do you call that purple thing in your mom's top dresser drawer that she calls her best best friend for some weird reason?
Dad better look out from Bob, battery-operated boyfriend, hahaha!
Yo mama is so evil that Dallas Winston fell in love with her.
The way you are so ugly your parents even regret the day you were born.
The way you are so black when your mom is bathing you in the dark, she has to put flour in the water to see you.
🤣🤣🤣
The doctor said I would make it, but then Spider-Man came in holding a PS5.
I have returned. Anyways, what do you call it when you're actually in Panera Bread, being in Panera Bread?
Yo mama so fat, she was the lead balloon in the Thanksgiving day parade next to Kermit the Frog.
Osama Bin Laden thrown in ocean!
People who helped with the Twin Towers destruction: ...
I have said a ton of jokes in my lifetime.
But I got fired from that job.
Some guy: making a sandwich.
Me: *rages* to put the ham in!
Why are most politicians in the closet or gay?
Because all they can do is mandate.
Stacy: Honey, I'm kinda new to texting, what does lol mean?
Justin: I'm not sure, "lots of love," I guess.
Margaret: Stacy, are you there? I don't know if you heard, but Amber and her three kids were killed in a car crash this morning. I'm in total shock!
Stacy: lol
What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable?
Putting her back in the wheelchair when you're done.
What’s the most terrifying word in nuclear physics?
Oops!
My girlfriend broke up with me because I quote Linkin Park too much.
But in the end, it doesn’t even matter.
Yo momma so queer that she thinks Paige Stawicki will be the first female in the NHL.
Why isn't Hilary Duff interested in education?
A. She said that she was not interested in learning about anything that was so yesterday.
Teacher: Tim, where are your parents? It's been 15 minutes!
Tim (Orphan): Yeah um, they can't come.
Teacher: Why not?
Tim: They're too busy working in heaven.
Roses are red, violets are blue, Alexander Boris de Pfeffel had wine and cheese while your loved ones died in the ICU.
Roses are red, violets are blue, Tory shirts step in doodoo.