INS jokes
What's the second hardest thing in the morning?
The first hardest thing. 🍆
In America, mom births you.
In Soviet Russia, you birth mom.
Three men were lost in the desert and found a genie who granted each of them a wish.
The 1st man wished he was home with his family. The 2nd man wished he was home with his family, and the 3rd man wished they were all back together again.
What do a Catholic priest and an Olympic silver medalist have in common? A: They both come in a little behind.
Women be like I don't wear makeup for men.
Then get mad when a man doesn't compliment her in her makeup!
Yo mama's so fat, when she went on the scale it said, "Still counting."
"You're the bomb."
"No, you're the bomb."
A compliment in the US, an argument in the Middle East.
I was writing my final exams, and I saw a question saying to name the smallest thing in the world. To my knowledge, I chose an atom.
My Chemistry teacher said it was PSG. I was shocked beyond repair. Shame on you, PSG, I'm now a college dropout!
What do George Washington and a beaver have in common?
They both have eyes.
You were born on a highway in a car crash, I wonder why.
What plate do you need to eat in a car? A license plate!
Your mama's so ugly, when she looked in the mirror, it said, "Viewer discretion advised!"
The circular saw asked the chainsaw, "When am I as big as you?"
The chainsaw would answer with, "When you cut down some things in your life. Like your owner."
The circular saw would reply with, "What?"
Reminder: Check the fridge, but remember nothing's in there.
Your mama is so fat, she sunk Atlantis even though it's in the ocean!
Roses are red, violets are blue, Tory shirts step in doodoo.
What do / and \ have in common?
They have different results.
Why does Apple logo depict 1 byte in the 21st century?
What do you call a phone that talks?
A reader in a leader.
I was cussing out this kid for stealing, and their mom walked in and said, "Hey, language!" I just said, "English, bitch!"