INS jokes

What do emo kids and apples have in common?

They both hang off trees.

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Have you seen the Justin meme?

Yeah, the ones that cracked at Fortnite?

Just-in time for deez nuts.

Bruh.

But actually, it's a parody.

Wait, actually?

Parodiesnuts (pair of deez nuts).

Two muffins are in an oven.

One says, "Man, it is hot in here!"

The other one says, "OMG, a talking muffin!"

Do you know what Fortnite was like before season 2 chapter 3? They put the Foundation / The Rock in the water where aliens were that season.

According to unofficial sources, a new simplified income-tax form contains only four lines:

1. What was your income for the year?

2. What were your expenses?

3. How much have you left?

4. Send it in.

What animal howls at the moon and eats cement?

If you guessed wolf, you're right! I threw in the cement to make it hard.

"Mommy, Mommy! Are we going to live forever?"

"Only in your dreams."

You walk into a room, and there’s a lot of people waiting in line to punch you... Yeah, that’s the punchline.

A kid decided to burn his house down.

His dad watched, tears in his eyes. He put his arm around the mom and said, "That's arson."

Why do orphans like Spider-Man?

'Cause they really enjoy Far From Home and No Way Home. Damn, was he mad about Spider-Man Homecoming!

One day, a lady and her husband were talking and it was time for dinner. He got up and sat at the dining room table, and the lady brought the plate of food in and she sat it down in front of him. "What's this?" he said. The lady said, "A piece of shit...honey! Want some water to drink?"

Me walking away after committing murder in a school with my trusty “friend”.

Me and rose bushes have something in common: mangled, can hurt, red, and people only like one part.

I saw my midget neighbor at a bus stop.

"Jump in, I'll give you a lift home," I said.

"Bugger off!" he shouted back.

"What an ungrateful little man," I thought as I zipped up my backpack and continued my walk.

There were ten in the bed and the little one said... "Roll over..."

Wipe your feet before entering, but in Stephen Hawking's case, it is "Wipe your wheels."

What does it say on Stephen Hawking's headstone?

R. I. P. Roll in Peace.

I went 80 mph in a school zone and one of the speed bumps screamed, "Am I hallucinating?"

Off-topic, but why is the picture in the baby category feet? And nasty feet at that? What am I, Dan Schneider?