INS jokes
Me: Ice woman diary: a witch's tin key.
Other: What? You said, "I swim in diarrhea, which is stinky?"
Mummy, how was I born?
Mummy replied, "Well, your father and I got married, and soon I became fat and you came out, and then in, out, in, out, and after you did that a million times, you were born."
I was sitting in class when my teacher said, "Have any questions?" the suspended Class clown said, "Who's Joe?" So the teacher said, "Joe who?" So the clown said, "Joe Mama!" So I said, "What in the BALLS?" So I ended up staying in detention with the clown, ah, so cozy!
How do you beat Hellen Keller in musical chairs?
You move the chairs.
Knock Knock! Who's there? Candace Candace who? Can deez nuts fit in your mouth?
What do blind kids and orphans have in common?
They can't see their family.
I think your hairline might have the hiccups.
Answer to it: You might have to give it a wash in the shower.
What is a four-legged animal called that can fly?
A donkey flying in the sky running away from me.
When does an Emo wake up in the morning? After the rooster says, "Cutadoodledo!"
Yo momma's armpits are so hairy, it looks like she's got Buckwheat in a headlock.
What's long and hard and has c*m in the middle? Cucumber. What were you thinking?
I don't usually make 9/11 jokes. They always go down in flames.
Sorry for this Pick Up Line.
Are you a building? Because I rate you 9/11, so let me put my plane in and let kids fall out.
Me: How do you say yes in Spanish? You: Si. Me: Si if these nuts fit in your mouth.
How many beans are there in Irish chili?
Answer: 239
Why are there two hundred and thirty-nine?
Answer: (spoken in Irish Brogues) Because if you add one more, it'd be "two farty."
My dad was in 9/11, that's rude, and he was a great pilot.
What does a cute deaf girl and a fire have in common?
They're both hot, but they're both quiet.
Little Johnny says: “Mom, you know that lovely vase in the dining room that’s been handed down from generation to generation?”
Mom replies: “Yes. What about it?”
He says: “Well, the last generation just dropped it.”
The 9/11 and the Spanish flu are kind of similar.
The Spanish flu was a very dangerous flu, and in 9/11, something very dangerous flew.
What do a black and a tornado have in common?
They both wreck neighborhoods.