INS jokes
How do you know if a chick is too fat?
If you pull her pants down, her ass is still in them.
There is someone in my class named Henry Rocket Rueben, and he always says he rockets into my mom.
What do renovators and lesbians have in common?
They're both not interested in exposed wood, apparently.
So I was in the car with my mom one time and we always joke about me being adopted (I am not), and Michael Jackson's song "Billie Jean" sounds like my name, and so my mom says, as the song is playing, "(My name) is not my daughter, she's just a girl who claims that I am her mum." Wow. *applauds for mother* Love you momma =)
Why should you fear white people in prison instead of the blacks?
Because you know that whites are in for actually committing something.
HARRY POTTER MEMES
A Middle Eastern man comes to the states to do a stand up show. He starts by saying “2 Jews walk into a bar, NOT IN MY COUNTRY!”
When I die, I want to go peacefully in my sleep like my grandpa did, not screaming and shouting like his passengers.
I like my women like I like my wine. 16 and locked in my in a basement.
COP: Are you high?
ME: If I was high, could I do this? *walks in a perfectly straight line*
COP: Wth he just walked off a cliff.
If you were born in September, it's pretty safe to assume that your parents started their new year with a bang.
Straights are ALWAYS asking LGBTQ+ people why they have such GOOD FASHION SENSE. We didn't spend all that time in the closet for nothing, honey ;)
Q: When and where was the biggest BBQ ever?
A: Hiroshima, Japan 1946.
A guy in a Costco was pretty pissed off at something. A guy walks up to him and says, "What's wrong, pal? Don't worry, it's not like you're on an abandoned aisle!"
One day I was jogging through the park and I saw this lady sitting next to a pond in a wheelchair with no legs and arms and said "Why are you crying" she said she had never been hugged I gave her a hug and jogged away.The next day i saw her again and asked her the same question she said "I've never been kissed" I gave her a kiss and went, The third day i asked her thrice and she said I've never been fucked I picked her up from her wheelchair and throwed her in the pond and said your fucked now She didn't make it:)
What do you call two skeletons dancing in a tin can?
Noise!
What's red and white and goes 250 miles per hour?
A baby in a blender ;)
They say there's a person capable of murder in every friendship group. I suspected it was Dave, so I killed him before he could cause any harm.
What do Cavemen poop in?
A Neander stall.
You're so ugly your mom and dad abandoned you, and you went to the adoption center, and not even the adoption center would take you or let you in.
Boi, you can't be talking because if someone punched you in the face, you will be the one to apologize.