INS jokes

How many gays does it take to put in a light bulb?

Only one... but it takes the entire Emergency Room to get it out.

A hot woman called "Jessie" was showering when the phone rang.

Jessie was upset because the phone wouldn't stop ringing, and she goes out naked from the bathroom to answer the phone in the hall.

Jessie on the phone: 《Hello? 》

The one on the phone: 《Oh hi, I'm Jeff, I just wanted to tell you don't go out from your bathroom naked next time because my brother is behind you right now trying to rape you.》

Jessie: 《Stop it my sister! This is the 10th time you do this cringe joke! It gets boring!》

But sadly it wasn't a joke, and she cried a lot that night and learned how not to go out naked from the bathroom again.

Do you play Sea of Thieves? See if these balls fit in your mouth, gotteeeem!

What can happen if you bring a hooker into a stranger's house? He will ask you, "Really, are you nuts?"

What do a "transgender" woman's favorite song and his/her last online order have in common?

~they're both a dick in a box.

What was racing through people's minds during 9/11?

Probably a plane. (:

Me and my friends are going to create a Steps tribute band. We are all in wheelchairs, so we are going to be called "Ramps."

Where does a black Eskimo live?

In a Nigglu.

A man was about to go into the bar with his dog when he realized the sign said, “No pets allowed!” He was about to walk away when another guy walked up with his dog. The 2nd man put on dark shades and said, “Just pretend you're blind!” He walked in with his dog, got a drink, then left.

The 1st man did the same thing, but when he walked in, the bartender said, “You know your ‘guide dog’ is a chihuahua, right?”

The man said, “They gave me a damn Chihuahua?!”

Did you know that a lot of graves are put in churchyards?

Yeah, they're pretty holey.

Why doesn't Barbie ever get pregnant? Because Ken comes in a different box!

A boy sat in his bed, watching a meteor shower. He was a vengeful child and wished that his parents would no longer bother him whilst he was gaming.

The next morning, he woke up to find his mother had passed away in the night. Clearly his wish had worked. However, his father worked a midnight job, and as such the boy was very confused when he returned home from work, expecting him to have met the same fate.

The two of them then looked out the window in thought, only to find the milkman lying dead on the pavement.

What do Jews and Black people have in common?

Living off welfare checks.

Yo' mama is so stupid, she couldn't find a needle in a haystack.

What's black and red and goes 90 miles an hour? A baby in a blender!

So a mushroom walks in a bar and the waiter says, "You can't be here."

And the mushroom says, "Why? I'm a fungi!"

What's worse than depression & suicide?

Easy: LIVING. Everyday you wish you were dead but then reality hits you in the face that you're still alive and have to suffer living.

Pretend or not pretend, we have to decide everyday even if we don't pretend no one will notice :) no one ever does :). Living is the problem to everything. We get depression cuz of it and so much. Why can't we just die :)?

Like Markgeraldnasol and his Pokemon Jokes.

What do you call a killer that uses psycho powers?

Mr. Mime!

I went to my local shooting range today but was surprised when I saw on the news that there was a school shooting in my shooting range. I don't know who snitched...

We shouldn't joke about major tragedies. My dad died in 9/11, he was Saudi Arabia's best pilot.