INS jokes
My wife said, "Why oh why have you ordered carpet, our house is lovely?"
Thankfully the carpet was put to good use in the end, no more stupid comments coming from a rolled up Emily in the bottom of the ocean!
I was going 80 in a school zone and the speed bump was screaming.
What do a pulse and an orgasm have in common?
I don’t care if she has one.
Dad: Son, everyone in your class got COVID.
Son (in a happy tone): I know.
Dad: How do you know and why are you so glad?
Son: Well, yesterday you told me to spread positivity.
I always wear Puma, put my balls in your mouth.
I heard that the numbers on the front of your credit card represent the number of minutes until you meet the 💕 love of your life!💕
And the 3 numbers on the back represent the month and day you make it official!!
Comment those numbers to lock it in!!😄
In the Bible, it says Jesus died for our sins, but he came back to life, so what did he sacrifice?
Was it a weekend to wash away our sins?
Why did Michael Jackson allow little boys to sleep in his house? Because he's bad.
Why did 10 have trauma?
Because 10 was in the middle of 9/11.
Why is it cold in hospitals?
To keep the vegetables cold and fresh.
You know, it was so cold in D.C. the other day, I saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets.
Two Asians walked into a strip club and they went to a cashier. They put in their names: her name was He Gay and his name was Shi A Ho.
Time for a random Terraria joke.
Q: Why did the guide die at his house?
A: The player dropped his doll in the lava.
(WALL OF FLESH HAS AWOKEN) :| Oh crap!
A donut is not empty inside, that was a hole in the middle. If I'm a donut, the hole used to be where I put my feeling and happiness, but people snatch it away from me.
Anyway, can someone put a hole in my physical body too? I kinda wanted to see people cry for me just like how people cry for Ace from One Piece.
I saw a cat. It said, "Raisin" when he saw a nut. Hahaha, I am a crappy joker. Put me in the nerd club.
Why didn't the skeleton play football?
His heart wasn't in it!
How do you organize a rave party in Ethiopia? Just put some bread on the ceiling.
What did one orphan say to another orphan?
"Get in the Batmobile, Robin!"
Explain bear still lives in his mother's basement.
YouTubers: Among Us in real life.
Bin Laden: Angry Birds in real life.