INS jokes
There’s a woman cutting onions when her husband walks in and starts crying. Onions was a good dog.
Everybody was kung flu dying.
It traveled as fast as lightning.
2020 was expert timing.
In fact, it was a little bit frightening.
Two kids are out in the cold, with downpours of snow erupting from the clouds.
One of the kids says something: "Can we build a snowman that is going through puberty?"
The other kid says something else: "Yes. It sounds cool."
After a while, the snowman was finished, and some words jut out of the first kid's mouth: "Wow! Look at that snowman! It's got hair all over, but I think it's missing something though."
The other kid jumps a little and begins speaking: "Oh, I know what it is!"
After a while, a body part made of a carrot and two cucumbers appears on the snowman's crotch. It is a penis and a ballsack.
The first kid speaks: "Icy what you did there."
The other kid replies: "Good thing I didn't slip up there."
The first kid replies: "Well, that's snow problem."
The other kid then uttered this: "These puns would make the most frigid individual crack up."
The first kid then says: "I know, right?"
They then begin a snowball fight.
The other kid then says: "Only the men have snowballs!"
I know you’re feeling in a haze, but please enjoy your last three days.
Elderly man: Can I get a discount, please? I fought in World War 2.
Cashier: Sure!
Elderly man: Danke.
What did the squirrel say to the dog?
"There are nuts in your poop. I found them!"
Why did Paul Walker die? Because he crashed a car into a tree.
Who can jump the highest? Depressed asses, some say they’re still in the air.
"My sister said she was the only smart one in the class."
"What about the teacher you learn *from*?"
Your forehead is so big that you dream in 4K.
What does a middle aged man live in?
A retarded kid he keeps in the van.
Say "I hop in this:".
I made you eat your peas! 🤦
Q: What did Britney say to Kevin when they were in bed?
A: "Hit me baby one more time."
What do you call a bunch of white people in an elevator?
A box of crackers.
Someone locked me out of my house today... At least the children in my basement aren't my problem anymore.
A guy was in one of the Twin Towers and he ordered pepperoni pizza, but he didn't get it. He got a plane instead.
What goes in and comes out and makes you feel good but isn't sexual?
(Insulin)
There's no "I" in team, but there is a "U" in cunt.
I like my women like I like my wine: 12 years in a basement.
Once, my father came home and found me in front of a roaring fire.
That made my father very mad, as we didn't have a fireplace.