INS jokes
911 what's your emergency?
"Burning in toaster."
"Toast?"
"Yeah so your calling 911 because of burnt toast?"
"Set fire to my forest!"
What does Stephen Hawking have in common with Bill Gates? One stands, the other doesn't.
Jack and Jill went up a hill to do it in the water.
Jack slipped, his condom ripped, and now they have a daughter.
An orphan walked up to a baseball field, but a security guard said he couldn't come in because it was a home game.
What does a Rubik's cube and a penis have in common?
The more you play with it, the harder it gets.
Random: What are your hobbies?
Me: Bullying kids in WhatsApp groups 💀
What type of people have the record of the most amount of stories read?
Emos, they're still in the air.
Who is the blindest person in the world?
Why do cheetahs have spots outside of their bodies?
Because they don't have them on the inside.
Why was 10 scared?
Because he was in between 6 and 9.
When the kid in the wheelchair scares you... you wheelie scared me.
I got fired from my job at the bank today.
An old lady came in and asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
What does a ripped jacket and a golfer have in common?
They both have a hole in one.
How many skinny people can fit in a tub? I don't know; they keep slipping down the drain.
How to harass? Say it out loud but slowly. Split that word into, and it sounds like "her ass."
What do you call a nerd in space?
A space nerd.
What does an orphan and a wheelchair have in common?
They can both be replaced.
What does a blind man crying and an unplugged TV have in common?
Nothing can be seen when they get turned on.
What do an M&M and juice have in common?
Window.
What do the Twin Towers and a bad joke have in common? They never land well.