INS jokes
For our anniversary, I gave my girlfriend a picture of me inside a pistachio.
But that’s just me in a nutshell.
What am I if my neck is covered in red bumps, my ears are the size of a giant corn cob, my skin is ruby red, my eyes are bloodshot, I have green skin, and fur growing all over my body? Horribly ugly.
We thought that my mother died in the best way possible, during her sleep.
But when we did an autopsy on her, we saw she actually died in the worst way possible. During the autopsy.
Why did the boy leave his chestnuts in the rain?
He wanted them rusted.
What do a pulse and an orgasm have in common?
I don’t care if she has one.
What's the slowest train in the world? A slow coach!
Some kid in a wheelchair called me fat.
I told her, "Do a wheelie!"
One time Uma Thurman was Poison Ivy; she was weird in that, except for her punny jokes.
How did my dad know I was gay?
He stuck his cock in me and I liked it.
I pushed my best friend's chair in class. Now I kinda feel bad that he was in a wheelchair.
Your momma's so fat, when she pulls her knickers down, her ass is still in them.
What has four legs and one arm? A Doderman in a playground.
Bully 1 to Bully 2: You're ugly.
Bully 2: Look in a mirror.
Bully 1: Just because it worked for you doesn't mean it will work for everyone else.
What’s the difference between a pile of babies and a Tesla?
I don’t have a Tesla in my garage.
Deku: Hey Todoroki, are you done with your Halloween costume?
Todoroki: Yes. *comes out in a macaroni outfit*
Deku: Wha- I'm todoroni.
Bakugo: OMFG, I'm out! *blows up UA*
Want to see a funny joke? Look in the mirror.
Why is no one friends with Dracula? Because he's a pain in the neck.
The Twin Towers were like a woman stuck in the washer machine. They both got freed.
A family put their kid and their dog in an orphanage but came back for only the dog.
Why does an orphan only have 363 days in a year? Because they don’t have mothers' and Father’s Day.