INS jokes
I got in trouble in school today. The teacher said, "I'm gonna call your parents!"
I said, "Let me know when you find them." <3
POV: The quiet kid starts playing "Pumped Up Kicks" in the parking lot before school.
:me😐
What is a kid's favorite thing to do with their dad?
Play pretend dog in the bed.
What does the plane that hit the Twin Towers and milk have in common?
My dad went to get both and never came back.
Someone in the Twin Towers ordered two pizzas, plane?
What's the difference between 911 and the stock market in the 1930's?
Nothing, they both crashed.
Last night I shared a bed with two of my friends because we were in a small hotel. We had strange dreams last night.
My friend on the left dreamed of getting a handjob.
So did my friend on the right.
I had a dream of skiing.
How do you surprise a blind man?
Leave the plunger in the toilet.
What do emos and apples have in common? They both hang off trees.
An orphan boy at my school did really bad in a test and started crying.
I said, “Don’t worry, your parents won’t say anything.”
Where did little billy go when he was stuck in a minefield... everywhere.
That joke was pretty dark, but it got pretty light for a second.
Me and Billy Bob the 1st, Billy Bob the 2nd, and Billy Bob 4th Jr. were all in the Twin Towers.
Reviews for the Chinese flag are in!
5 stars!
I ran into a kid today. Now I'm in jail and I lost my driver's license.
When you're watching "Gnomeo and Juliet 2" and your dad walks in on the gnome shaking his butt.
A man went hunting with his son and shot an animal.
The father asks the son to identify the animal he just shot, and the son answers: "Holy Cow!"
Father: "What do you mean, 'Holy Cow?'"
Son: "You shot a hole in the cow, of course!"
You might think that tigers or lions are the best jumpers, but in my opinion, it's emos, because some of them are still in the air.
A man walks into his bedroom where his wife is carrying a sheep under her arm and says, "This is the pig I've been fucking."
Wife says, "That's not a pig; that's a sheep, dumbass."
Husband says, "I was talking to the sheep."
How do you scare a lot of people in New York?
Open a mobile hotspot named "Delta Inflight Wifi."
My friend was in Afghanistan when he saw someone got shot, and then they bombed him. Now he called them the "Talkwakers."