INS jokes
What's black, white, and red all over?
A nun in a blender.
Yo mama's so fat, when she went on the scale it said, "Still counting."
You want to know how to spot a foster kid?
Them carrying their whole life in a Hefty trash bag.
I asked my mother about her mom.
She said she was in a better place. After that, I asked her where that place is. She didn't know, so I sent her to a better place.
As ruler of a kingdom, I wanted a knight. Duke Leo Pessi IV offered himself but wanted a wife in return. I offered my beautiful daughter to him. However, he slapped her and proceeded to wreck my castle. All this whilst crying “I don’t want princess, I want farmer!”
DAMN YOU PESSI!
What do pears and emo kids have in common?
They both be hanging.
Your forehead is so big it can't even fit in the garage!
Hey, you know what I told the kid in a wheelchair?
I told him to be a stand-up comedian!
Me: How many letters are in the alphabet?
That one friend: 11 - T-H-E-- A-L-P-H-A-B-E-T.
At least 32 people hate orphan jokes.
And I thank all the people who participate in this protest.
Two gays are getting ready for Christmas... They are expecting a big package in the mail!
So, I was walking down the path of my life with Bigfoot, noticing the two pairs of footprints, mine and his.
One day, I notice his prints are gone. I look up to him and say, "You had promised you would always be there for me. How is this possible?"
He then looks me straight in the eyes and says, "Raw!"
Why are there no chemists in Africa?
Because you can’t take tablets on an empty stomach.
Chuck: Do you have holes in your underpants?
Teacher: No, of course not.
Chuck: Then how do you get your feet through?
Some of you need to go to church. I don't want you in hell with me.
When was the last time you saw yourself in the mirror?
Why did the rapper go to the auto shop?
To get his RHYMES in TUNE.
You wanna know what I have in common with an apple?
We BOTH look good hanging in a tree.
My dad was a great pilot...
He died in 9/11.
What do tofu and a dildo have in common? They are both meat substitutes.