INS jokes
You have 10 to live.
“Wait, as in 10 minutes?”
10, 9, 8...
POV: The quiet kid starts playing "Pumped Up Kicks" in the parking lot before school.
:me😐
Ever tried looking in a mirror lately? I wouldn't, your crooked hairline might break it.
After the holidays, Ron asks Hermione: "How was the weather in Spain?"
Hermione: "No idea, it was so foggy I couldn't see a thing!"
Who were the fastest readers on the planet? 9/11 victims, they went through 80 stories in 10 seconds.
Quote of the day:
Just one small positive thought in the morning can change your whole day.
[Comment your favorite fall beverage!]
What is the state of California best for? Screwing everything up!
What is the state of Florida for? Rednecks for days!
What is the state of Texas for? Guns!
What is the state of Utah for? Mormons and Pligs baby! (I hate all of the religious stuff!)
What is the state of Idaho for? Calling other people Ho's, mostly!
What is the state of Nevada for? Ever heard of gambling?
What is the state of Delaware for? Literally anything that isn't exciting!
What is the state of New York for? In my state of mind, it's a song! (If you don't get this one, look up the song of New York State of Mind)
What's the difference between an orphan and baseball?
In baseball, you know where home is.
Your mama is so fat.
She steps on the scales. She has to return in a couple days to get the results.
How to be a hero.
1. Tie a noose in your front yard.
2. Find and capture a furry.
3. Hang that furry because they deserve it.
It’s easy as 1-2-3!
Jack and Jill went up a hill to do it in the water.
Jack slipped, his condom ripped, and now they have a daughter.
How do you surprise a blind kid?
Put a plunger in the toilet.
Why do orphans have no parents?
Say your joke in the comments.
An old man and a child are walking into the woods. Suddenly, they stop.
"Mister," the child says, "I'm scared, these woods are dark and creepy..."
The old man says, "How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone!"
I couldn't think of anything because you're in the "countryside."
How many hookers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Must be more than 9 because my basement is still dark.
Why did the scarecrow get promoted?
He was outstanding in his field!
Q. What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common? A. Same middle name! 😂
Clothes are gay. They're in a closet.
Yo Mama so fat, she could fit you in her stomach.