INS jokes

Sonic can run around the world in a second.

In that same time, Chuck Norris can run around the Universe.

What's worse than finding 10 babies in 10 dumpsters?

Finding 1 baby in 10 dumpsters.

Doctor: I diagnose you with obesity.

Patient: It runs in the family.

Doctor: Nothing can run in your family.

How many emos does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None they just sit in the dark and cry.

How did they figure out what kind of shampoo Paul Walker used? They found his “head and shoulders” in the dash.

1. What's the difference between Dark humor and Morbid humor? Dark humor is 10 babies in 1 trash can and Morbid humor is 1 baby in 10 trash cans.

2. What's the difference between a pizza and a baby? A pizza doesn't scream in the oven.

I don't understand why in horror movies they make digging a grave look so easy. It usually takes me days.

What do Michael Jackson and a Playstation have in common? They both get turned on by kids.

What do you get when you have an annoying kid, a homicidal kid, and a suicidal kid in the same room? A happy ending.

What is money called in space?

Star bucks.

What do pedophiles and a SpongeBob intro have in common?

Are you ready kids?

Say what you want against pedophiles, but they slow down in school zones.

The Pope and Donald Trump are on stage in front of a huge crowd.

The Pope leaned towards Trump and said, “Do you know that with one little wave of my hand I can make every person in this crowd go wild with joy? This joy will not be a momentary display, like that of your followers, but go deep into their hearts and for the rest of their lives. Whenever they speak of this day, they will rejoice!”

Trump replies, “I seriously doubt that. With one little wave of your hand? Show me!”

So the Pope slapped him.

Father and mother are making love in the bedroom. Mother is on top of father. Suddenly, the son enters the bedroom. Everyone is embarrassed, of course.

The next morning, the mother takes the little boy aside and says, "I'll tell you about what you saw yesterday. You know, Dad has a big belly, and that's why Mom sometimes sits on top of that belly to push it flat." The little boy says, "But Mama, that does not make any difference." "Oh no?" the mom asks. "No," says the little boy, "When you go to work, the neighbor comes, and she puts herself on her knees for Dad, and she blows his belly up again!"

What do you call the people in the Challenger explosion?

Ashtraynauts.

In preschool, I confessed my love to my crush, and she rejected me. As heartbroken as I was, I sucked it up and went back to teaching.

Why can't you solve a murder in Alabama?

All the DNA is identical and there are no dental records.

In the average room, there are about 2,894,638 items that Chuck Norris can use to kill you, including the room itself.

What do you call a virgin in Alabama? An orphan.

What do you call two Mexicans at a country restaurant? "Two beaners in a cracker house."