INS jokes
What do you call a candle in armor?
A knight light.
So, I just got kicked out of the orphanage library for putting a book about parents in the fiction section.
The only reason why Murrikkkunts think Canada isn't free is because incest is illegal in Canada, in which one can face a sentence as long as 14 years in prison if convicted.
What is the second hardest thing in the morning?
Getting up.
What's the one thing me and the New Year's ball have in common?
It's not gonna be the only thing falling 50 stories this New Year's.
How do you fit 100 babies in a bowl? A blender.
How do you get them out? Tortilla chips.
What did Hitler and Usain Bolt have in common?
They both finished the races.
What does a light bulb and a school shooter have in common?
They both light up the room.
When I saw a girl sitting on the ground crying, I asked her where her parents were. She cried louder. That’s why I like to volunteer in an orphanage.
How many times can 50 fit into 9?
Get in a van and find out.
Why does the blonde stand in a corner when she's cold?
Because it's 90 degrees.
Why do women rub their eyes in the morning?
Because they don't have balls.
How does Hitler tie his shoes?
In tiny Knotsies.
What is money called in space?
Star bucks.
How many emos does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None they just sit in the dark and cry.
What do a shopping cart and a wheelchair have in common? They both carry vegetables.
What’s the difference between a Lamborghini and a dead body? I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.
How do you make someone in Africa disappointed?
Sing "Raindrops Keep Falling on My Head."
If Mexico is an unredeemable shithole, then how come the Republicans' favorite senator, Ted Cruz, ran to Mexico as fast as he could after a little bit of snow in his home?
Q: Why should you stand in the corner if you get cold?
A: It’s always 90 degrees.