INS jokes
What do you call a Muslim guy in a bathtub?
A bath bomb 💣
What does a person that’s high and Helen Keller have in common?
Both stare off into space.
Why do pedophiles always lose a race?
Because they come in a little behind.
I called the suicide hotline in Afghanistan, and they asked if I could pilot a plane.
What do rocks and girls have in common?
The flat ones get skipped.
when your in an argument and your mom steps in:
What's the difference between my car and a hooker? I park my car in a garage instead of leaving it on the side of the road.
Am I the only one who's on here because it's not blocked on the school laptop and I can't use my phone in class?
Cows go moo.
Yo mama so old, she was in third grade with Moses.
WARNING: READ THIS JOKE ALOUD!
Was it the pills that stopped his coughing, or was it the coffin they carried him off in?
What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon?
One screams when you put it in a blender, and the other one is a cooperative little fruit.
Why does Helen Keller loom in the toilet after taking a poop?
Nobody knows!
How do you turn a baby into a dog?
Douse it in gasoline, light a match, *WOOF*!
in can re;ate to this its always going through my mind
Why does the blonde stand in a corner when she's cold?
Because it's 90 degrees.
A priest is struck by lightning and lays hurt on the ground.
When medical crew arrives he denies them, saying, "God will surely save me!"
The medical team tries to help him, but he keeps struggling and eventually dies.
Later in the afterlife, he screams at God, saying, "Why didn't you save me? Am I not dear to you?"
God answered, "B****, I sent you a f***ing ambulance and you denied it!"
Wanna know what's worse than 5 babies in one dumpster?
1 baby in 5 dumpsters.....
What do 9/11 and 911 have in common?
They're twins.
I was lying on the living room carpet the other day with my girlfriend on top of me in wings and a tutu, making out.
I called her the Fallen Angel.
In memory of Michael Jackson, Vienna Beef, as well as various places, is introducing the Jackson Dog. A 50 year old sausage between a 9 year old bun.
What do Michael Jackson and Linus have in common? They both carry a little blanket.