INS jokes
If there are 4 Mexicans in a van, which of them is driving?
None of them. Immigration service is.
I took my mother-in-law out yesterday morning,
It's great being a sniper.
So, a kid is taking a test, and the paper says, "In a pink bungalow, there's a pink fridge, a pink bed, a pink TV, and a pink cat. What color are the stairs?"
So the kid answers pink, like the idiot he is.
I was born and raised in Newcastle.
My grandfather used to tell me stories about Penaldo, a goblin from Portugal that travels to England when Newcastle is playing. He scores a tapin and then disappears until the next Newcastle game. I still have nightmares that he’s in our stadium.
Drop me in Afghanistan with a cigar, a Kobe jersey, a MAC-10, a Lambo Huracan with a bumper delete, and a Toyota Tacoma with an M249 on the back. Then I'll have Afghanistan as the 51st state by midnight.
The only difference between you and Jesus is that Jesus believed in himself.
How many altar boys does it take to screw in a light bulb? Depends on how dark the priests' basement is.
I'm always hanging in there.
Hanging on the wall.
Jimmy watched in horror as Alex told the suicidal man to do a flip.
What do Jesus and a painting have in common?
They hang by nails.
If anyone's joke here says "burn in hell," I will mimic your account for the rest of your life.
What does my dad and the Twin Towers have in common? They used to be with us, now it's just a sensitive topic.
What's the scariest thing about white people in prison?
How rare they are.
GF: What do you think of our love?
BF: Count the stars in the sky.
GF: Aww... It's infinity!
BF: Nope. It's just a waste of time.
Fun fact: The max comments on a joke on this website is 1000! (LINK IN COMMENTS FOR PROOF)
I saw a little boy playing alone in the street. I told him that was a bad idea, then asked for his parents.
God, orphanages are fun to work at!!
If 6 was afraid of 7 because 7 8 9, then why was 10 afraid? Because it was right in the middle of 9/11.
My ex died in an anchorage accident.
She always was a sleeping hooker.
What did one orphan say to another?
"Get in the Batmobile, Robin."
Jim: My grandpa fought in the army during World War Two. He was an officer.
Me: Cool, what rank of officer?
Jim: SS.
Me:...