INS jokes
I like my woman like I like my coffee: in a big sack on top of a donkey.
Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? - In case he got a hole in one.
What's the difference between a baby and a freezer?
The freezer doesn't scream when I put my meat in it.
I'm looking for women. Put your height, weight, and bra size in the comments.
Teacher: "Do you guys want to get in trouble?"
Kid named Teacher: *
I got something in my eye
What do women and airplanes have in common?
A cockpit.
I was in Russia at a stand-up comedy performance about someone making fun of Putin, but the jokes were awful. The execution was nice, though.
Grandpa: "Sonny, let me tell you something. There's only one damn thing in this whole world worse than Alzheimer's."
Boy: "What's that?"
Grandpa: "What's what?"
What does Michael Jackson and a lion have in common?
They're both predators.
Why do rapists and pedophiles never win a race?
Because they always like to come in a little behind.
What do snow and friends have in common? If you pee on them, they disappear.
What do mermaids put in the salads?
Sea cucumber.
There was a boy named Sammy, and he was deeply in love with a girl named Rayne. But she didn’t notice him or talk to him. But one day, she did, and they end up liking each other and getting married and lived happil- wait no, that’s not right. Sammy snuck in Rayne’s house at night and kidnapped her, locked her in his basement, and turned her into a puppet so she'd be with him forever and ever. The End.
A cow was walking down the road, and it saw a beautiful cloud in the sky, so it said, "That is an a-moo-zing cloud!"
What is the only warm organ in a dead woman?
My dick!
A dad is in a wheelchair and his daughter goes, "Don't step on a crack!"
Ok, so I have a joke for you, go look in the mirror and when you realize, come back to me and tell me.
Why was 10 afraid?
Because it was in the middle of 9/11.
How many orphans does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, they don't even got a home.
Two fish were in a tank. One turned to the other and asked: "Hey, how do you drive this thing?"