INS jokes
Somebody told me that black slang is just white slang in reverse. For example:
White person: Dad, you're home!
Black person: Dad?
White person: You can keep the change.
Black person: Empty the register.
What do you call a black man in the army in camo? Incogneggo.
Why isn't there a pregnant Barbie doll?
Ken came in another box.
My doctor asked my brother if anyone in the family suffers from mental illness.
He replied: "No, we all seem to rather enjoy it!"
What do babies and explosives have in common?
They both make a noise when you throw them.
Yo mama is so old that when she was in history class as a kid, all they learned about was themselves!
Alcoholics don't run in my family, they drive.
As a straight son, one day I asked my mom, "Have you ever quit something that you did before?" My mom said, "No, I never quit anything." So I asked my when you give a blow job you ever spit, then my mom said, "What did I say? Quitters are for spitters."
Me and my girlfriend were walking in the woods.
Her: I am scared!
Me: What do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone.
Me walking in to the office:
Principal: Tell me what you did?
Me: I told the special ed kid that the 4th story window was an end portal...
When you're in the middle of a test and you hear gun shots.
What do you call a suicide bomber in a wheelchair?
An RC-XD.
When I see the little brother in a video get everything, I try it and get grounded ;-;
Yo mama so fat,
Donald Trump himself tried to use her as his border wall in 2016.
Me explaining my child: when your mom is sitting on a table during her period, it's called the periodic table.
Yo mama so fat I can see where you got in from now.
Anyone want to eat me up? I'm in that kind of mood right now.
I went for a job interview today, and the manager said, "We're looking for someone who is responsible."
"Well, I'm your man," I replied. "In my last job, whenever anything went wrong, they said I was responsible!"
What do you get when you die in Undertale and go to Temmie Village?
DeterMIENATION
What does a hooker and butter have in common?
They both spread for bread.