INS jokes
What did the captured Germans say to the French in WW1?
"Verdun for."
What do you call a guy in a wheelchair that lives with the royal family?
Rolls Royce.
One day, Jim saw a kid sitting on the curb dressed in rags. He asked if he was an orphan.
The kid said, “Yeah, what gave me away?”
Jim said, “I don’t see any parents.”
What do you do when you finish a magazine in the hospital?
Reload and keep firing!
What did the blind man say the first time he touched sandpaper?
“What in the world did I just read?”
Who would win in a fight, in a boxing ring? Mike Tyson or Helen Keller with a Tommy gun?
Mike Tyson. Helen Keller never heard the bell.
What’s the most emo country in the world?
Qatar.
I was walking down the street one day, and I passed the gun store. I walked in, and everything was half off. I didn't know back-to-school sales had started already!
I saw a cute coworker and had sex in the back until I realized it is a family business.
What do you call two natives in a ditch?
A sleepover.
What do Call of Duty and Al-Qaeda goals have in common?
You’ve got to get more than one down.
What did one orphan say to the other one?
"Get in the Batmobile, Robin."
If I make you breakfast in bed, a simple 'thank you' is all I need.
Not all this 'How did you get in my house?' business.
Why is 10 afraid?
Because it’s in the middle of 9/11.
Why is it so hard to find people defending suicide in any discussion?
Because they are really committed to their cause.
Q: What do you call a baby in a vegetative state?
A: A tater tot.
What's the fastest way to break up a bingo game in Baghdad?
You shout out, "B-52!"
What do you call a terrorist attack in Iraq? A selfie!
What does a burnt pizza, cold beer, and a pregnant woman have in common?
Someone didn’t pull it out in time.
What is Michael Jackson's favorite movie?
The Boy in the Plastic Bubble? Why? The boy who was in the bubble.