INS jokes
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
Because he forgot to plug in the charger.
A boy is sitting in a dentist chair getting braces, and a dentist comes in and says, "Brace yourself!"
Q: What do you call a guy with no arms or legs in front of a door?
A: Mat.
What did Ron put in his diary?
I "Her-mio-ne" after I banged her last night.
French fries weren't originally cooked in France. They were cooked in Greece.
What do orphans have in common with mute children?
They can't talk to their parents.
Why can’t Michael Jackson win a race?
Because he’s always coming in a lil’ behind.
I was digging in my backyard and I found gold, and I went to run and tell my mom, but I realized why I was digging in the backyard.
Q: What do you do when an epileptic has a seizure in the bathtub?
A: Throw in some laundry.
What do an Olympic silver medalist and a Catholic priest have in common?
A: They both come in a little behind.
Am I the only one who's on here because it's not blocked on the school laptop and I can't use my phone in class?
Cows go moo.
They put the woman's rights in the fantasy section in the library.
Why was my mate in "Mission: Impossible?" Because he couldn't find his dad.
I was happy to find I could get a passing grade in all my subjects if I had sex with my teacher, until I remembered I'm home schooled.
What do a blonde and a doorknob have in common?
Everyone gets a turn ;)
What does a Catholic Priest and a commercial from the 80s have in common? They both ask people, "Where's the meat?"
Who is more loyal: a dog or a wife?
Well, lock them both in your trunk for two hours and drive around and see which one is happy to see you.
Can orphans eat in a family restaurant?
Hi! This is a good prank I did! Okay, my sister has this crush and his name is Braylon. So, he texted my sister saying he wants to hang out with her, which I think means date. So anyway, I did this. My text said, "Hi Braylon, I can't hang out today... or the other day because I have homework, so please no hang out!" This is super wrong, but funny! Braylon texted back and said, "Fine, I can help." And I texted back and said, "Oh, will come here around 10:00." And my sister did not know he was coming... She was so embarrassed, she was still in her nightgown! HAHAHAH. O to the k, bye, that's the prankster!!!!
22 ants were playing football in a saucer.
One ant said to another one, “We'll have to play better tomorrow. We're playing in the cup!”