INS jokes
You know what flowers and depressed people have in common?
Both end up getting cut.
What's a pedophile's favorite fast food meal?
In-N-Out of kids.
Operation failed in North Korea, the surgeon died.
Pickup line for gay people:
Roses are red, Antarctica is in the south, Get on your knees, And open your mouth.
POKEMON THEME SONG JOKE: I wanna be the berry best, like no one ever was.
To bitch them is my real pest, to brain them in my toss. I will gravel across the land, perching war and wide. Fuse Pokemon to under-strand, the lower that's in psyche.
Poke him on! Gotta joke them all it's Fru and me, All I know is my dress tiny, Poke him on! Yeah, you're my pest friend, In a world you must de-blend, Poke him on!
Gotta joke them all my shirts so true, My outrage will flush us through. You bitch me and I ditch you, P-O-K-E-M-O-N!!!
Gotta joke them all, Gotta joke them all!
Poke him on!
What's the fastest way to get to the hospital? Stand in the middle of the road.
Why did the murderer invest in condoms? To kill the future buyers!
Dad: "Son, does mommy like having lady-friends over?"
Son: "Nah, mostly men."
Dad: "Do you think you'd be comfortable telling that to a judge in court?"
Q: What's black and white and red all over?
A: The U.S. in 1919!
What's the difference between a Lambo and a pile of dead kids?
I don't have a Lambo in my garage.
What do the Twin Towers and murder victims have in common?
Both were owned by their own kind.
Why were the people in the Twin Towers such good readers?
They went through 110 stories in 10 seconds.
I do not understand why people aren't scared of spiders. I mean, like they have 87447924872320984623879480327678987388025873289576348097923408370983728 legs and 23864867759578590893839420387424763478923748394783294327428748243264278 eyes.
I saw a spider in my room. YOU THINK I'M GONNA SLEEP IN THERE?????????
Nope. I'm moving to Japan.
KONNICHIWA
Who were the greenest Presidents in US history? The Bushes.
My life is so sad it's because you're in it.
Husband: Dammit, Alice! I'm your husband, and I'm telling you that you better stay in this kitchen if you know what's good for you!
Wife: Go to hell, Bob! I'm leaving!
Ignoring my protective advice, Alice stormed out of our underground kitchen, even though it was the safest place to be while the nuclear war still raged outside.
I like my women like I like my microwaves.
Hot, ready to go when I am, and able to kill any baby I put in her.
What happens if you look in the mirror and say fentanyl 3 times? You'll see Derek Chauvin kneeling on George Floyd's neck.
My grandfather has the heart of a lion!! 🦁
In a jar on his desk along with a lifetime ban from the zoo...
What do a plastic bag and Jeffery Epstein have in common?
They're both dangerous to children.