INS jokes
Three nuns died in a car crash. They went up to heaven at the pearly gates. The gatekeeper said, "This really should not have happened, so I am going to send you back to earth as different people. Tell me who you want to be or look like." The first nun said, "I want to look like Madonna." Puff, you look like her now, but you can’t use her name. And sent her down to earth. The second one said, "I want to look like Marilyn Monroe." He then makes her look like her and sends her down to earth. The third nun said, "I want to look like Sarah Pipalini." The gatekeeper says to her, "Sarah Pipalini, who is that?" She gives the gatekeeper a newspaper article. He reads it, shakes his head no, and says, "It’s not Sarah Pipalini, it's Sahara pipeline laid by 500 men."
What word starts with M and ends in RAGE? Miscarriage.
That joke never gets old... but neither does the baby...;)
Who are the fastest readers?
9/11 victims because they went through 80 stories in 10 seconds. 😂
What do you call sex in the World Trade Center?
An inside job.
Titanic jokes sink in. Pun intended.
I was going to kill myself, but in the end, it doesn't even matter.
To the man in the wheelchair who stole my camouflage jacket: you can hide, but you can’t run.
What do women and Nvidia have in common?
They both do not make very good drivers.
What’s the rarest gun to find in Africa?
A water gun...
Michael proved anything is possible in America. Where else can a poor black boy grow up to be a rich white woman?
Fancy playing rodeo sex?
"OK then," she said!
Then put your dick in her ass and say it’s not as tight as your sister’s ass and hold on for dear life... real life cow bow boy shit!
What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair? A TANK!
My gf told me she was pregnant, so I punched her in the stomach.
She asked me why the hell I did that. I told her I wanted to let her know I’m pro abortion.
What do a friend and a mouse have in common? They will both be angry if you throw bricks at them.
Have you ever stepped in Stephen Hawking's house?
Neither has he. 😂😂
So we all know why 6 was afraid of 7, because 7 ate 9, but why was 10 scared? It was in between 9/11.
At least if you're fat you don't need to put as much bathwater in the bath.
What was the worse purchase America ever made?
Spending billions on two rice cookers in 1945.
How are Kobe’s death and people in 9/11 the same? They both hit the ground really hard.
I was sweating like Michael Jackson in a Chuck E. Cheese.