INS jokes
I saw a kid crying in the corner. I asked them where their parents are. Man, I love working at an orphanage!
Bro, Kobe Bryant is singing with the basketball team in his helicopter, celebrating right now, I bet.
Oh wait, I forgot.
What is one good thing about pedophiles?
They drive slow in the school zone.
She said you can twerk, so I put her in a tractor and put her to work. She got mad at me and said, "There's no good men," but I gave her a kob and equal pay!
Two friends were walking in a forest. They started to fight.
A cannibal came and shouted, "Food fight!"
My grandma was telling me to be positive, as I was going in for an AIDS test.
I saw a kid on the curb while I was on a walk, and he was in baggy clothes, and I said, "Are you an orphan?" He said, "Yeah." And the orphan said, "What gave me away?" I said, "Ur parents."
Why can't emos stand in chairs?
Because they never get down.
Why do fathers take an extra pair of socks when they go golfing?
In case they get a hole in one!
I watch my parents sleep with a knife in my hands. Only got caught once.
The real dead hooker joke is on all of us from the Fraser Valley in BC. You know damn well each and everyone of us ate that Pickton hooker pork. Considering it stretching from the 80's-2000's, pretty sure he got 4 generations of Valley folk with that Pickton pork.
Guys, don’t put the Holocaust books in the fiction section, it was the worst mistake of my life!
Things I would’ve missed if my suicide attempt didn’t fail in 2020.
My attempt in 2021.
And my attempt this year.
What does my family and the Twin Towers have in common? We both played Jenga.
What do you call an orphan in a room full of mirrors? Surrounded by loved ones.
Why do musicians in New Orleans smell so good?
Because they're jasmine (jazz men)!
They say I’m sliced like the apples in a kids meal.
What’s the point in a cow going to the cinema? To be a-moo-sed!
What did the shoe say to the other shoe?
Nothing, it was tied up in another conversation.
One day I threw a boomerang...
Now I live in constant fear.