INS jokes
What was going through the heads of people in Manhattan witnessing 9/11?
Tower 1...
Orphan lady: Ok kids, someone donated groceries.
Orphans: YAY!
5 minutes later...
Orphans: Wait... where's the...
Orphan lady: *tries to hold daughter*
Person who donated: *holds milk in hand* hehe
Holy shit there's so many yo mama jokes. Here's mine: Yo mama so skinny she used a cheerio as a hula hoop.
Yo mama so fat that she made a plane unstable and crashed it into the Twin Towers.
Yo mama so old that she has Jesus's autograph.
Yo mama so ugly that not even makeup can save her.
Yo mama so dumb that she thought Rocket League was a competition between kids in wheelchairs.
How many orphans does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, they don't even got a home.
Don't make Iran jokes. My mom died by a rocket launcher. She was the best sharp shooter in the Iranian army.
This was made in china
One day, there were two muffins in an oven. One of the muffins said, "Man, it's hot in here." The other one said, "Oh my god! A talking muffin!!!"
Three old women are sitting on a park bench. A man in a trench coat comes and flashes them.
The first woman had a stroke. The second woman had a stroke. The third woman couldn't quite reach.
I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into a fire and called it "Hot Wheels."
My girlfriend said, "GIMME EIGHT INCHES AND MAKE IT HURT!"
So I pumped my dick in her 4 times and hit her in the head with a brick.
I got kicked out of the library because I put the woman's right book in the non-fiction section.
What do you tell twins that are in love with each other?
Go fuck yourselves!
What do you call two skeletons dancing in a tin can?
Noise!
"Jack and Jill run up the hill to have sex but in a text a sibling sayed I’m on a hill sleeping with a mex. foursome peace love and biches."
What’s red and green and goes 100 miles per hour?
A frog in a blender.
A teenage guy is taking a girl to a dance. First, he goes to buy her flowers, but there’s a really long line at the florist. Finally, he buys them.
Then, he goes to rent a tux, but there’s a really long line for that, too. After a few hours, he gets the tux.
That night, he picks up the girl and they go to the school for the dance. There’s a long line to get in that goes halfway around the school. A while later, they finally get in. They dance and talk for a while, then the guy gets thirsty, so he goes over to the table to get punch. There is no punch line.
A mother and son were in the backyard, and the son finished building a shed. The mother says, "You're the best husband ever."
What does a cloud wear in a storm?
Thunderwear.
What kind of games do they play in Africa? The hunger games.
What do you call a terrorist in water?
A bath bomb 😁
I looked so deep in the dark web, I started to see Tyrone.