INS jokes
Why are quadriplegics so unsympathetic? Because they only have feeling in 10% of their body.
Jesus walks into a motel, throws 3 nails on the counter, and says, "Can you put me up for a night?"
One day in my class, we were having that good snack, and one of my classmates choked on a Cheerio. One small, single, Cheerio!
Michael Jackson and Tonya Harding got together back in the day for a horse racing venture. Tonya says, "I'll handle the handicapping, you go ride the 3-year-olds."
What do you say to a one-legged hitchhiker?
Hop in.
A very rich and famous comedian walked into a Russian bar and asked for a vodka, but the bar man (a big fan of his) answered to him: - "This vodka isn't good enough for you." - "If it is good enough for you it is good enough for me!"
A man comes home and finds his wife in bed with another guy. "What's going on here!?" he exclaims.
The wife replies, "See, I told you he was stupid."
Bigfoot is just a normal person who covered himself in Pritt Stick and went down on Susan Boyle.
There was a man in a wheelchair, and he got knocked out in front of a bus. He had a wheelie good life!
North Korea and the Martians were fighting about who was going to reach Venus first.
Trump steps in and says, "That doesn't matter, America is going to land on the sun first."
The Martians and North Korea said, "You can't land on the sun, it's too hot and you will die."
Trump said his brilliant plan, "America is going to land there at night."
What ended in 1999? 1998.
Yo mama so fat, when she goes to the movies, she sneaks candy in her fat rolls.
What's the hardest part about being a paedophile?
Trying to fit in.
Chuck Norris once pissed in the tank of a semi as a joke.
It is now known as Optimus Prime.
A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were stuck on an island, and the closest populated island was 100km away. So in turn, they try to swim to the island. The brunette swims 10 km then drowns. The redhead swims 30 km then drowns. The blonde swims 50 km then gets tired so she swims back.
What do ambulances and gay men have in common? They both take it in the back and go whoop whoop! :D
There were these three men; their names were Shit, Shut up, and Manners. One day, they were riding in their car, and Shit fell out, so Manners went out to pick Shit up, and Shut up went to the police station.
When he got there, the police officer said, "What's your name, son?" and Shut up said, "Shut up." The officer replies with, "Ummm...excuse me?!" and Shut up said, "Shut up!" and the officer said, "Boy, where are your manners?" and Shut up said, "Round the corner picking up Shit!"
What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car?
Robin, get in the car.
What's a pedophile's favorite place to go in?
Kum and Go.
What do you call Helen Keller in a pitch black, sound proof room?
Unnecessary.