INS jokes
In America, there was a boy named Urhan, and he had one hand and a stump, and a girl named Handa who was an orphan. They had a trial for the Boston Red Sox, and they failed because Urhan couldn’t stump the ball, and Handa didn’t know where home was.
I bought my son an Xbox in 2017. It’s now 2018, and I’m still waiting for him to open it.
Me: I look up to you.
Friend: Wow, thanks!
Me: But in general cuz your so tall.
Why aren't there any closets in southern churches? Closets have coat hangers.
To the man in the wheelchair who stole my camouflage jacket: you can hide, but you can’t run.
What do you call someone with an extra chromosome winning in a pool?
Posiedown.
What's the difference between McDonald's and a priest?
Nothing... They both stick their meat in ten-year-old buns.
Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Because he was outstanding in his field.
I hate it when people are at my house and ask, "Do you have a bathroom?" What answer are they expecting? "No, we pee in the yard?"
My great grandfather died in 9/11.
He was an amazing pilot.
You might be innocent, but if you carry a large sum of cash in public, the cops won’t believe that.
Why was it so hot in a square room? Because all the corners are 90 degrees.
There's no "I" in team, but there is a "U" in cunt.
What does a phone and a grandma have in common? They both die.
What's the difference between them? If you shove something up your grandma's ass, she won't come back to life.
I will remember my biker buddy's last words: "Why did you cut in front of me?"
What is red, green, lies in a ditch, and is covered in cookie crumbs?
...A girl scout that got hit by a car.
If Adolf starred in the Room, his most iconic line would be “I did not Hitler! I did not!”
Q: What do you get when you drop all your potato chips in your couch somewhere?
A: A couch potato. HaHaHa
I tried out some puns to make people laugh, but no pun in ten did.
What's the POINT in stabbing people?
HAHAHA