INS jokes
What's worse than finding 10 babies in 10 dumpsters?
Finding 1 baby in 10 dumpsters.
Question: Do you know who Candis is?
Answer: Can dis dick fit in your mouth?
1 and 2 fell in love. The 2 said, "You're the only 1 for me!"
So my mom said, "Did you do your homework?" Well, I say yes, and in the hour, I yelled, "This is fake, not real!" 😅😅😅
There are two siblings, a little brother and a big brother. Now, the big brother had a girlfriend, and one night they decided to go and have sex. So, the bigger brother goes to pick up his girlfriend one night and take her home. So they get to the bigger brother's house and walk into his room. Now the two siblings shared the room, and they had bunk beds. When they walked in the room, they saw the little brother asleep in the bottom bunk, so they went up to the top bunk to have sex. The big brother says, "Whenever you feel good, say 'lettuce,' and whenever you want to switch positions say 'tomato'." The girl constantly is saying "lettuce, tomato," and then the little brother wakes up. He quietly remarks, "Can you guys stop making sandwiches? You're getting mayonnaise all over me."
My departed uncle was a circus clown before he died.
So all his friends came in one car.
Two cows are out grazing in the field. One cow says to the other cow, "Aren't you worried about this mad cow disease that's been going around?" The other cow replied, "Why would I be worried about mad cow disease? I'm a rabbit!"
Me and Jesus are really close; he even turns the light on for me when I go pee in the middle of the night. Well, that is what I thought until the fridge was wet.
I moved all the Bibles to the fiction section because there is no God, as said Stephen Hawking in 2011, but in 2018, God said there was no Stephen Hawking.
Why do toy bears have small eyes?
Because they were made in China.
Why do toy bears have small eyes? Because they were made in China.
My favorite thing to do in my free time is putting a large skewer on the front of my car and speeding through a school zone trying to make a kebab.
Roses are red, my name is Dan, I have a gun, GET IN THE VAN!
I saw a cyclist in the road today, so I ran over him and he said in a robotic voice, "SHUTTING DOWN!"
There was this kid who was going to take a girl to the dance. He had fancy clothes, fancy shoes, etc. Finally, the day of the dance came. He happily drove over to the girl's house. When he got there, he said to her father, "thank you for this moment, have a great night".
At the dance, the girl asks the boy, "can I have some food?" He gladly replies "yes" and walks over to the food trucks, only to see a huge line. So he waits in line for like 30 minutes. He comes back to the girl, and she says, "thank you so much, I really needed something to eat". Then she asks for some sweets and a soda. Again the boy waits in line for about 30-45 minutes. Then he comes back, and she says, "thank you SOOOO much". Then she says she has one more request. The boy, (now clearly agitated) says, "what is it?" She says, can I have some punch? SO the boy walks over to the punch table, but to his surprise, there was no punch line.
I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger, then it hit me :3
What's the difference between dead babies and a Ferrari?
I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.
What's the difference between 13 dead babies and a skeleton?
There aren't any, there's 13 skeletons in my closet.
Son: “Mom, is there a thing called «friendship» between a man and a woman?”
Mother: “No Son, unless if he’s gay.”
Son: “So your friend is gay?”
Mother with herself: «How did he see me with michael omg if my husband discovered my cheating he will kill me»
Mother: “Mmm.. Yes.”
Father loudly: “YES!!!”
Mother: “What in the hell? Are you gay?”
Father with himself: «Am i an idiot why did i yell?! if she discovered I’m gay and her son was made by Paul’s semens she will kill me»
Father: “No what are saying? I’m just talking with myself.”
*A few hours later*
Mother: “I will go to visit my mother.”
Father: “Me too I will go to visit my mother.”
Son: “Not me too I will go to stud with my friends.”
The mother and the father goes to michael’s house and they found their son playing with Michael and Paul is recording them and saying: «that’s why I love you my actual son oh only if your mother knows».
*The End* :D
How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two ;)