INS jokes
There will be no school shooter joke today in honor of the 10 people killed in the Colorado grocery store shooting. R.I.P.
How do you put a baby in the blender feet first so you can see its facial expressions?
How do you get it out? Tortilla chip.
How do you put a baby in a blender feet first so you can see its facial expressions?
How do you get the baby out? With a tortilla chip!
Your forehead is so clear, like the Liberty Bell manual in 1876.
Now you should let your imagination work... imagine naked Jesus with an erection... and nail holes in his hands...
What do tofu and a dildo have in common? They're both meat substitutes.
The only time that cows will make noise is when they are in the moooo-d.
A guy walks into a bar with a revolver and yells, "WHO THE F*** F***ED MY WIFE!" A man in the back responds, "YOU AIN'T GOT ENOUGH BULLETS MATE!"
What does a cannibal call people in water?
Sea food.
Why do orphans like the game Adopt Me? Because they've never been adopted in their life.
What do you tell twins that are in love with each other?
Go fuck yourselves!
What do you tell twins who are in love with each other?
Go fuck yourself!
What do Miss Reeves and Michael Jackson have in common?
They both have a touchy feeling for kids.
In Alabama... How do you know your sister is having periods? Your dad's penis tastes like blood.
Little Johnny got a train set for Christmas. He takes it around the circle, parks it at the station, and says, "Alright, you motherfuckers get off here, and you motherfuckers get off here." His mom comes rushing in and says, "Little Johnny, we don’t use that kind of language, go to your room and think about what you did!"
After a few hours, she lets him out of his room. He goes back to play with his train set. He takes it around the circle, parks it at the station, and says, "Okay, you guys get off here, and you guys get off here. And if you have any complaints about the two hour delay, take it up with the bitch in the kitchen."
Gwen: Hi sir, how are you?
Tj: Good... you?
Gwen: I am super duper good! And where is your date? It seems like you need one 😉!
Tj: 😏.
Gwen: Here, this is your guest hall pass...you may...come in my friend!
Tj: Thanks but um, don't you think you should be um getting inside too?
Gwen: 🙁 No thanks sir but I have to work...I am the staff so bye! 😁.
Tj: NO!!!!!!
1 day later.
Gwen: 🤕🤕🤕🤕🤕🤕🤰🤰🤰👩👧👦
How do you call a virgin girl in Alabama? An orphan.
How do you organize a rave party in Ethiopia? Just put some bread on the ceiling.
I know this isn't the real chicken wing song, but my version...
"Chicken wing, chicken wing, I want your mommy. Slap her with my hairy salami while she's still yawning."
Make your own chicken wing song and put it in the comments... :)
I bet you $12345678901234567890 that you didn't read that number and you didn't notice that I put a letter in it. No, I didn't, but you went back and looked, didn't you?