INS jokes
One time there was a depressed man standing in the middle of a train track. A girl said, "Excuse me, can you move, please? I'm trying-" Then the man stopped her sentence and said, "How is your t-shirt so clean?" Then she said back, "Easy, hung it up."
Butt plug, oh butt plug, get out of me.
Butt plug, oh butt plug, get in my mouth, oh how I wanna taste you.
Oh, butt plug, oh butt plug, something is nutty.
I read to deaf kids in my spare time.
What do call six gay men going in a war?
Rainbow Six Siege.
My sister: See you at home in about an hour.
Me: Okay.
My sister: Sister, where are you? *She looks out the window.*
Me: Sis, I'm here, can't you see me?
Sister: OMG, she's dead!
Me: Yeah, I know, but can't you see me?
My girlfriend was cheating in Uno.
She's not the only one who can play that game.
Little Johnny's sister, Suzy, sees her mom in the shower and asks, "What is that between your legs?" Her mom responds, "That is my garage." The next day, Suzy sees her dad in the shower and says, "What is that between your legs?" Her dad answers, "It is a motorcycle that gets parked in mommy's garage." The next day, Suzy came to dinner with blood all over her hands. Her mom asks, "Why is there blood all over your hands, Suzy?" Suzy says, "Well... little Johnny tried to put his motorcycle in my garage, so I ripped its wheels off."
When you get to feel a dick in you, then suck bro, all your stress [goes] out the window.
Why are women like KFC? After you finish with the thigh and the breasts, all you have left is the greasy box to put your bone in.
Good night, sleep tight, wake up bright in the morning light, to do what's right, with all your might.
What does a kite and a criminal have in common?
They both get high.
What’s red and very rare?
A baby in a blender.
Why are there not that many phones in China? Because there’s too much Wing and Wong, so they will "wing" the wrong number.
Why is the letter "B" very cool? Because it's sitting in the AC.
A guy walks to his friend's house. His friend asks, "Where is your girlfriend?"
The guy replies, "Meet me at the cemetery in a week, and you'll find out!"
A guy walks to his friend's house. His friend says, "Where is your girlfriend?" The guy says, "Meet me at the cemetery in a week."
What happens when skeletons score points in a game?
They get a bone-us.
As siblings, we always joke about being adopted. It stops being funny when you're playing in your parents' room and find both of your adoption papers.
Superman and Flash were in the living room pounding back a few beers. Flash says to Superman, "I bet you can fly into Wonder Woman's bedroom and get the best pussy of your life." So he does it. When he goes back to Flash, Superman says, "Man, that was great, but my ass kinda burns."
So, we all know that old kids' joke: why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9. Well, why was 10 scared? Because he was in the middle of 9 11.