INS jokes

A woman has been raped by a man. She calls the police, and a policeman shows up.

Woman: "Please help, officer! I have been raped!"

Officer: "No problem, ma'am, I will just unrape you."

Woman: "What? Unrape me? How?"

Officer proceeds to bring back the rapist and forces the woman to rape the rapist back in order to cancel out the initial rape.

I like my dates like I like my wine...

Locked in a cellar and aged for 12 years.

One tonsil said to the other tonsil, “We must be in San Juan Capistrano, here comes another swallow.”

What do my little brother and a vagina have in common?

They both ooze blood 🩸 when punched.

What did the German Shepherd dog say to Hitler?

"Mein Führer ist steckenbleiben in meinen Zähnen."

I'm reading this book in braille right now, and I know something's gonna happen, I can just feel it.

You're so fat that you're gonna be my next hamburger for dinner and the next In-N-Out, just like your parents.

Despite Michael Jackson’s legal problems while he was alive, McDonald’s is still going to honor his life achievements in the music industry by naming a sandwich after him.

They’re going to call it the McMichael! It’s going to be a fifty year old piece of meat pressed between two eight year old buns.

Y'all really need to stop hating on pedos!! At least they drive slow in school zones! God.

I was digging in our garden and found a chest full of gold coins. I wanted to run straight home to tell my wife about it.

Then I remembered why I’m digging in our garden.

"Since 7 8 9, why was 10 scared? Because it was in between 9 and 1."

How do fuck a really fat chick?

Roll her in flour and look for the wet spot.

I rang my boss and said, "I’m really sick. I won’t be coming into work." My boss said, "Davo, you're sick again! Really! Just how sick are you now?" I replied, "Well, I’m in bed with my sister!"

Happy was a cute hippo.

Happy sleeps in the water.

Happy walks on land.

Happy runs on Savannahs.

Happy swims in mud.

Happy takes a bath.

I got caught masturbating in the bath by my mum!

I said, "Mum, I’ll wash it as hard and fast as I want!"

"Jack and Jill went home because he was sick because of the virus in town, gave him a frown, and his arms were pricked."

What do blind kids and orphans have in common? Neither of them can see their parents.

What world record did the people in 9/11 get?

The world record for going down 80 floors in a matter of seconds.

How many children does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Not 27, because my basement is still dark.

how do you cut of a hillbilly's dick?

kick his sister in the jaw